Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Where is Our Focus

I am the Mother of six children. My oldest three girls are adults and living their lives in beautiful ways that exemplify all that is good in Womanhood. I still have three sons at home..all teens. My boys are going through the trials of adolescence. I love being a Mother and have loved every stage from Young Mother, Mother of Teens and Adults, to the joy of being a Grandmother.

My perspective come from a place where I can look back with fondness and empathy for all Mothers of young children. The sheer amount of time needed to Mother little ones correctly is sometimes overwhelming. It is also the time when many women realize how much more important the home is compared to the boardroom. It is the time when women realize they are happiest when they are serving others fully. The time when nursery rhymes are more familiar than the latest novels, High heels and skinny jeans are exchanged nursing bras and larger pants. The time in a woman's life when she realizes her love and care will influence generations.

I also know the joy and sorrows that come from Mothering teens. This is the time when a child outgrows the incredible physical need of a Mother, in exchange, exhausting her with emotional and social issues. I have loved being a Mother of teens, they can talk, you can have wonderful conversations with them. It is also such a joy to see them grow and make their way in the world...it is also heartbreaking when the world knocks them down. As a Mother you are always there, no matter the situation to help them back up.

I love being a Grandmother. It is so amazing that I can love my Grandchildren as much as I love my own children. I love seeing my Daughter mother. It is so rewarding to know she loves Motherhood and Womanhood as much as I do.

Motherhood is a very focused part of Womanhood. As a Mother we live the majority of our lives focused on others. Once we become a Mother everything changes for a woman. We will never again make decisions without wondering how it will affect our families. This is how it should be. As women we have been endowed with the gifts of compassion, love, gentleness, healing, and care giving. It is this focus on others that sets us apart...making us vital for the salvation of the family and mankind in general..and that is why I am distressed.

I have noticed that for many years Motherhood has been diminished in the eyes of the elite. We have been told it is more important to have careers, and fancy clothes and homes. We have also be spoon fed the notion that we should never age. We should always be a size 5 no matter our age, number of pregnancies, and genetics. We have been told we should be bored, and put out for how much time little ones take. We have been told we are nothing more that glorified babysitters and it is more important to have "me time" instead of family time with our husband and children. Most distressing is the fact that we have been told that instead of us as women serving others, that to be truly happy we need to be self-focused.

It is so sad to see so many women accept this line of thinking. I have seen too many Mothers abdicate their responsibilities to home and family, so they can socialize, diet, and look and feel important in the eyes of the world...all the while their children whether babies, teens, adult children or Grandchildren starve for their affection, and nurture. We are losing too many young and not so young Mothers to this mindset...somehow we need to put Mothering back into focus....What it truly should be.

I don't know how to do this other than commit myself to Motherhood in all its stages, with all its consequences. What are the consequences...As a committed women to Motherhood and family I will never be skinny again. It is more important to have tasty nutritious meals enjoyed by my husband and children. (I will try to be healthy, but I will never diet).
I will never be a fashion plate again. My clothes will always be chosen for comfort, durability and ease. I will always try to look nice but I would rather be able to have a baby spit up on me and not worry about it, than wear white suede. I will never be considered important, smart or successful in the eyes of the world...But what will I have? I will have the happiness that comes from serving others my entire adult life. I will have solid relationships with my family, and friends. I will have the memories of my children.. from all the TIME spent with them. I will KNOW that I assisted in a divine work. I will know LOVE.

Will you also commit yourself to Motherhood. Never to lose focus on what is truly important..no matter what the world throws at you? You will be glad you did.


  1. I love this! Is this Amanda's mom? From the moment I met her, I thought she has got to have an incredible mom! I had never been around someone so mature and grounded at her age. She is so intelligent and well-spoken. I admire you because I know her. Thanks for posting!

  2. I love it. It made me cry. Great post mom!