Today I Met a Homeless Man

I mean, really met a homeless man. I didn't just pass by him on the street, or hand him a few coins.

I stood behind him in line at the library as he asked if he could apply for a library card. The librarian handed him an application. He looked at it for a moment and said, "I can't read or write. Could you help me fill it out?"

The librarian replied that they were not allowed to do that.

He looked around him for a moment, sighed, and said, "Well, okay. Maybe I can find someone."

My kids were waiting back in the children's section with their dad, probably making him read the same terrible board book over and over. I knew Max was tired. We had plans to go to Hobby Lobby and the zoo. But I couldn't ignore him.

"I can help you fill that out when I'm done."

He smiled and said thank you. I felt a little awkward paying my fines, pulling out a twenty. He never asked for a cent. The librarian told me we were still missing a book. I sighed and explained how we were in the process of moving from one house to another.

The man, eager to be of help I think, made sure that we were completely moved in and didn't need help. He asked two or three times if we needed anymore help. I assured him that we were fine, just a little scattered still. He talked about how wonderful it was that I was getting so many interesting-looking books for my kids, and how it probably helped them fall asleep. Then he joked about not giving them any sugar or they'll run crazy. I informed him that I have a son who runs crazy without sugar.

We sat down together at a table, and he gave me his ID card. That's how I found out his first name, Robert, like my husbands. About 60 years old. Mailing address: General Delivery. No home address. No phone number. No e-mail address.

All I could think was "No wonder this man is homeless. He can't read or write. How can one function at all in society without those two skills." Then my thoughts went to wondering what his story was. Had public school failed him? Did he have a learning disability that went undiagnosed fifty years ago? How does one not know how to read or write?

But all over in the library were signs to volunteer to teach people to read. Apparently it is a real need where we live. And all of a sudden I understood what a life- changing service that was. My ideas about volunteering in NICU's and soup kitchens disappeared. If I really want to make a difference, and I do, this is where I can be of most help. This is something that can create real change in a person's life.

After I filled out the paper, we came to the signature part. I asked if he wanted to sign or have me sign. He said that he would sign. I watched him slowly put the pen to paper, and carefully move his pen to form the most beautiful, perfect, cursive letters. It was probably the only thing he could write. This was not a scribbled signature. He took such care, that it was evident to see just how precious those few letters were to him.

I complimented him on his handwriting, gave him the application and stood up. He wished me luck with the baby, and that was it. Our brief encounter was over. It only lasted a few minutes, but I can't stop thinking about him.

I think that's part of being a mother, caring for people, nurturing them, loving them. Even when they're not your children. Even when they may be old enough to be your grandparents. Everyone is somebody's child. Everyone needs a little mothering every now and then.

Alternatives to Invisible Children

So we've all seen the heartbreaking video for KONY2012.  We are sad.  We want to do something.  However, there is some speculation on the charity "Invisible Children" for having a low charity rating and only 36% of donations going to the cause.  I think part of this is because of the nature of this charity's mission.  However, if you are feeling leary of IC but still in your heart wish you could help, I present here some alternative organizations and ideas from 4-star and BBB approved charities.

World Vision has an excellent page about child soldiers.  You will be even more upset to learn that Joseph Kony is not an isolated incident.  You can donate to World Vision specifically for this cause or implement their ideas for writing to President Obama and asking him to please enforce the bill passed in 2009 that cuts off US aid to countries whose governments use child soldiers.

After all, the KONY2012 video showed that enough people speak up, our government WILL listen.

UNICEF is also on the front lines of this issue.  They are trying to pass protocol to be followed by all members of the UN that is similar to what World Vision wants Obama to support.  UNICEF also tries to protect children to avoid abduction altogether as well as provides empowerment, jobs, and stability to former child soldiers.  Donations to UNICEF can't really be directed towards a certain cause and right now your donation is more likely to go to the famine in the Horn of Africa.

International Rescue Committee is another 4 star charity that focuses on rescuing and restoring child soldiers.  In addition to donating they have a link for advocating as well.  I don't know if you can specifically give to one cause with this charity.

If you have bought the bracelet or still want to.  Go ahead.  Helping is always ok.  I think the KONY2012 video is a great way to introduce your kids to political activism.  So if you still want to go "Blanket the Night" and wear the bracelet, I say go for it.

Making the Case for Mothering Those Not of Our Own

I was sitting in church yesterday...being terribly annoyed. A little boy, age 11, was sitting on my bench making a total scene. He was punching his brother, talking very loudly, standing up, trying to walk along the bench etc. He did not have any parents with him, the missionaries had invited him, and he and his brother showed up. As I watched the helpless Elders try to keep this little guy in his seat..I realized those 19 year old boys had no idea how to help this little boy, but I did. I then had to make the decision, "do I help out, or sit here annoyed that my Sunday was being ruined by a little heathen". This little boy smelled of cigarette smoke, was dirty, obnoxious, rude and a Son of God. This little boy had no training on how to be reverent. He did not have someone at home making sure he was clean and presentable for church, he did not have anyone teaching him how to be polite...he was on his own when it came to a lot of parenting issues. I made the decision to help this guy get through the meeting. Now I am a mother of teenage children, the days of bags full of books and crayons are well behind me, so I had nothing to keep this young man entertained. I asked the Elders to send "Joe" down the bench toward me, they happily agreed. Joe was suspicious of me at first...ready for me to scold him. But when I offered to play a game of tic tac toe with him on the back of my sheet music, he perked right up. We played tic tac toe, I was amazed that nobody had shown him how to win such a simple game, so I did. He was delighted to "beat me". After that we played several games of hangman using words we found from my bible. When we could not figure out the word, we drew clues (anything to extend the game and his attention span). When it was time to sing the closing Hynm he told me "I don't sing, only in my school choir"... "I told him he should try and that he probably had a good voice since he was in the choir". He responded timidly at first, but I as showed him how to read the lines, and continued to tell how good he sounded he sang with gusto. I also explained quickly what we were singing about...he nodded his head and kept trying. When the song was over, he kissed my shoulder and snuggled his head into me for a brief moment. He readily went to Primary and when church was over, he wanted to stay. I am so happy I chose to nurture him instead of judge him. I am so happy I chose to see him as the Savior does, a child full of potential, ready to bloom. After church, I was tired and feeling emotionally empty, but full of gratitude that I was able to help a little one feel better about himself, and find church a fun place he wants to stay. As women we can mother so many in our reach. How many are out there that can use a kind word, or some one on one time. In a time when so many women are abdicating their God given role, the need to Mother those not our own is huge. I hope all of us will reach out more to all the little and big ones around us and nurture them.