When You See Me

When you see me with my kids and their clothes are on backwards with shoes on the wrong feet, I hope you think She's fostering independence.

When you see me and my kitchen table is gouged and stained with the paint of a thousand art projects, I hope you think She's encouraging creativity.

When you see me in the grocery store struggling with crying children while I make my way down every aisle, I hope you think She's modeling real life.

When you see me and my house, with toys scattered across the floor and paper and crayon decorations where tasteful interior decorating should be, I hope you think She's allowing imagination to blossom.

When you see me at the library and my kids are running away from me, fighting over putting books in the book drop, and screaming in delight, I hope you think, She's building literacy.

When you see me on an airplane, and all three of my kids are pushing buttons, ripping magazines, or crying, I hope you think She's maintaining important family connections.

When you see me disciplining one of my children, I hope you think She's teaching accountability, even if you disagree with my methods.

When you see me in yoga pants, again, I hope you think, She knows her needs.

When you see me at the park, reading a book instead of following my children around the play equipment, I hope you think, She'll pass on a love of literature.

When you see me without makeup, I hope you think, She's showing her daughter how to be comfortable in her own skin, instead of hinting that I look tired.

When you see me out and about, possibly looking harried or bedraggled, kids hanging off my legs and arms, I hope you think, She's doing her best.

When you see me, I hope you actually see ME.

Home School - You might be thinking about possibly considering it. Maybe.

I my mind, there are three stages of Home School research. I've been through them all on my way to making the decision.

The first stage - I'm just reading about it. Probably not going to do it. Just...you know. Looking.
If you're at this point, you probably have babies and toddlers. You're looking down the road and just considering your options. There's no pressure or even a reason to commit. So you surf the web and see if there's anything out there that catches your eye. You just want a beginning view. You also want an answer to that nagging question that everyone asks. Will my kids be weird?

Here's what I recommend. simplehomeschool.net  is an invaluable resource at this stage. It is very gentle and always positive. It offers encouragement and a little window into homeschooling without ever being judgmental or preachy. Even when I was thinking I wouldn't homeschool my kids, I still read it. Like them on facebook for tons of good stuff.

You Are Your Child's First Teacher by Rahima Baldwin Dancy   This book really opened up a whole new way of looking at childhood and learning and what is important in the early years. It made me re-examine my ideas on what is age appropriate, and so forth. It gets a little wierd, new-age for me, but the information and ideas are still good. It also freed me from the notion that kids need to be "stimulated" and "learning" all the time.

Anything by David Elkind. He wrote The Hurried Child and is a big supporter of slow childhoods and less pressure on our little ones.

I also recommend googling something along the lines of Are homeschooled kids weird? Homeschool and socialization. Etc. Hundreds of bloggers have answered this question far better than I can.

This is all to just introduce you to thinking about education and childhood a little differently. It's nothing earth shattering. Just thought provoking. It will not make the decision to homeschool for you, and you can enjoy all of these resources and decide not to home school. It's a nice idea to play around with, but it's a long way in the future and you don't have to decide right now. For me, this stage was like planting a seed that took a couple years to germinate.

The Second Stage:  Seriously considering home school. Something has probably happened to get you to this point. Perhaps you found out something about Common Core, or your child is struggling at school, or a nephew of yours got beat up for no reason. For me, it was moving to Merced, hearing about the gangs and then finding out that transitional kindergarten and kindergarten were both full-day.

Whatever it is, you need to look into home school more, not just for curiosity but with the intent to see if this will work for you. Can you do it? You need a confidence boost and to move from a motivation of annoyance/fear to something positive. If you don't truly think you can provide a better education for your child, then you won't do it. (Note: A better education can mean many things, not just higher test scores)

Subscibe to simplehomeschool.net and read their free e-book "Secrets of a Successful Homeschool Mom."

Familiarize yourself with different educational methods and philosophies at this link  Home school does not have to look like school at home, and thinking it does makes it feel even more daunting.

Free Range Learning by Laura Grace Wheldon is a fantastic resource. I don't agree with everything she promotes (I absolutely think you should be pushing your child to learn how to read by 7 or 8 at the latest) but she has hundreds of pages of ways to learn EVERYTHING without the "read, lecture, test, repeat" method. You will be so inspired to make learning a joyful, exciting process. You'll probably use some of her ideas whether or not you end up taking the plunge into homeschooling.

Carl Honore's Under Pressure  A good intro to different educational styles and rethinking the high-pressure way we raise kids as well as a new look at just why those test scores in Asian countries are so high and the tradeoffs.

Dumbing Us Down by John Taylor Gatto will feel prickly and uncomfortable at first, but as you continue reading you'll keep saying, "Yes. I remember feeling that way." Some of his assertions are a bit overboard for me, but if you want something to make you think, even if all it does is make you angry at the author, this is a great book.

This Blog post. Should I Homeschool or Not?  and Part two

Pinterest! Set up a pinterest board and label it teaching, or learning, or even homeschool if you want. Then start finding all the great pins there are out there about teaching kids. There's unit studies, worksheets, art projects, science experiments, book rec's, everything you could possibly need. Seriously. And most of it is free. This is one of the best ways for you to see what you can really do.

123homeschool4me. I love this blog!

Take a risk-free plunge. I think this is the best way to figure a few things out. Do preschool for your little guy. Or if you have a school age student already, do some summer school (but think outside the school box and keep it really fun and hands-on with minimal worksheets. Who wants to do those on vacation?) Do you like it? Does it work your creativity and leave you feeling buzzed? What about your kids? Can you see them learning and loving it? For me, trying it out was the best thing for "knowing" what it was like and if it would work.


Third Stage - I really want to do this, but how do I get started?

Find out what the laws are in your state as hslda.

Simplehomeschool.net has a great checklist for you! Some of it I've already linked above.

Find homeschool co-ops, groups, enrichment classes, park days, etc. in your area. Get involved!

Check out all the resources available to you through your community arts programs, sports programs, college and university.

Go to your library! The best education will come with lots and lots of reading. There are so many good books out there! Read them for free.

Start writing down your ideas of what you would like to do in your home school. What is your vision? How do you want your days to run?

Here is an extensive list of "Core Knowledge" by grade. If you are a check-it-off-the-list type person, this is a detailed list of what your child should know and be able to do by the end of each grade. You can use these benchmarks when you're planning what your child will learn. Although I would by no means feel limited by it.

Check out curriculum. I'm not a huge all-in-one curriculum person. I'm more of a relaxed, unit-studies homeschooler right now. My focus is lots of hands on stuff. Because of that, I mostly just need ideas and lots of books. However, I will be buying a math curriculum (one with tons of manipulatives of course) I think it is good just to check out curriculums, just to kind of see what's out there and get ideas if nothing else. But remember, you really don't have to spend a lot of money to give your kids a good education. Check out this HUGE list of free resources!

And have you checked out online public school? It's a great way to go if you worry about being able to teach everything yourself. See what's available in your area!

Now, take a deep breath and repeat after me. This is an adventure I'm taking one year, one month, one week at a time. If something changes and this is no longer feasible for us, or if I feel like it is no longer our best option, I can change at any time. Guess what? The public school will still be there! You can put them back in! The world won't collapse. You'll both be okay. That's what public school is there for. Aren't we lucky to always have that option?

Have I overwhelmed you yet? Don't be. I'm just giving you what I have read and looked at. Yours doesn't have to be the same. Pick and choose. Find something else. We're all different, with different kids, different needs, different visions.

We're Homeschooling...and it's not a reflection on you

We've decided to home school our children until it no longer works for us. The reactions I've received to this decision have been varying and enlightening. They are very similar to the reactions I got when I decided to go for a natural birth with Max. Some people were encouraging. Others told me to be careful and not plan too heavily on it. After all it might not work out. Others felt like my choice required them to give their reasons for not having a natural birth. Some expressed their desires to do the same followed by some sort of derogatory comment about themselves being wimps.




When people find out I'm home schooling, some of them say it's a great choice. Others warn me about not being able to get anything else done, stressing myself out, and needing a housekeeper. Still more give me reasons why homeschooling isn't good. Sadly, a few make comments equivalent to, "I can't/don't want to do that. Does that make me a bad mom?"

Ladies, STOP IT!

Someone else's choice for their family is in no way a reflection on you and how you are doing as a parent. A lot of thought and prayer went into this decision, including my children's personalities, their talents, my talents, my vision and desires for education, mine and Rob's education and passions, Rob's work schedule, etc.

The opportunities that I feel open up to my family with the decision to home school leaves me feeling energized and animated. I can't wait to get started! I have big ideas and plans! Rob is with me every step of the way and gets in on the teaching and experimenting.

Not everyone feels this way. And that's okay!

We've got to stop judging ourselves by the mom down the street.

I've seen so many people just rip into home schooling blogs. Their comments drip of bitterness. At first I wondered why. Then I read a few blogs from home schoolers, and now I would like to clear the air.

I am not homeschooling to protect my children from the outside world. Actually, I hope to put my children in contact with our community MORE than they would get in the public school system.



I am not homeschooling my children for religious reasons. I don't consider the public school system evil or think it is trying to create a nation of atheists. Occasionally, a few teachers might have that on their radar, but not very many of them.

I am not homeschooling because I had a poor experience in the public school system. I want to be clear on this. I had so many fantastic teachers growing up. This choice is in no way a reflection on any of them. There are so many good teachers in our schools. The problems with our education system have almost nothing to do with the quality of our teachers.

I do not think that anyone who sends their kids to public school is lazy or doing their child a disservice.

I am not homeschooling to create super geniuses. If that happens, awesome. But my goal is more to create a learning environment that allows my children to learn at their own pace (whether slower or faster), linger over subjects they find truly fascinating, and understand that learning is a lifelong, joyful process.

I do think there are problems with our school system. I don't have time to get into all of them in one post. Suffice it to say, a top-down, test-heavy, standardized approach is not the right one for our beautiful, sensitive, diverse, and naturally creative children.

I will probably write here about our home school. Why I do it and love it. The advantages. Whatever. But please don't ever take that as me judging or thinking less of you.

I'm homeschooling. You probably are not.

As long as both of our children are getting an education, I'd say we're both pretty good moms.

**If you're interested in the situations and ideas that led to this decision, and my vision for education, let me know. I'd be more than happy to write about it.**

Why I will never see "A Whole New World." The Aladdin Movie's hidden drug use agenda

Guys, all my friends say I'm looking way too much into this. But then one person finally said, "Yeah, maybe." So I know I'm not crazy and writing this blog to PROVE IT to you.

Aladdin was a big hit twenty years ago, and everyone loves the song "A Whole New World." Seeing things like this  movie just breaks my heart! It's obviously just propaganda. I mean really, a non-verbal autistic child just all of a sudden singing? So staged and planned by liberal heathens that are trying to get your kids to do drugs!

Now hear me out. Aladdin is a story that take place in The Middle East. As in, where they grow opium.

The video starts out with Aladdin being chased by Jafar's men. This is obviously a reference to the evil's of law enforcement cracking down on drug use, that isn't even hurting anybody.

Then Jafar is told to find a DIAMOND in the rough.  Diamonds? As in, White Diamonds? As in, METH!

And have you seen Jafar? He is sooooo skinny.  Obviously a drug user as well.

And don't even get me started on the genie. He is obviously a drug-induced hallucination!


Then Aladdin takes Jasmine on a magic carpet ride. As in Steppenwolf's magic carpet ride, which totally talks about using drugs and was probably written while on drugs!



Not to mention the fact that on the magic carpet ride, Aladdin and Jasmine get high (in the sky, but we all know that's just an analogy!)

And if all that doesn't convince you, then let me analyze the lyrics to "A Whole New World" for you, which is obviously referencing the hallucinations one has while under the influence. I will italicize the offensive drug references.

I can show you the world
Shining, shimmering, splendid
Tell me, princess, now when did
You last let your heart decide?

I can open your eyes
Take you wonder by wonder
Over, sideways and under
On a magic carpet ride

A whole new world
A new fantastic point of view
No one to tell us no or where to go
Or say we're only dreaming

A whole new world
A dazzling place I never knew
But when I'm way up here, it's crystal clear
That now I'm in a whole new world with you
Now I'm in a whole new world with you
(Now I'm in a whole new world with you)Princess Jasmine: Unbelievable sights
Indescribable feelings
Soaring, tumbling, freewheeling
Through an endless diamond sky

A whole new world
(Don't you dare close your eyes)
A hundred thousand things to see

(Hold your breath, it gets better)

I'm like a shooting star
I've come so far
I can't go back
To where I used to be

A whole new world
Every turn a surprise

With new horizons to pursue
Every moment gets better
I'll chase them anywhere
There's time to spare
Let me share this whole new world with you

A whole new world
A whole new world
That's where we'll be
That's where we'll be
A thrilling place
A wondrous place
For you and me

Parents, don't let the Aladdin's of the world steal away your Princess Jasmine's and turn them to the world of drug use! Blot this movie out of your collections! I don't care how much you like it or how good the music is!

And while we're at it, let's talk about the hidden agenda in FROZEN. 

Ice cutting as a profession? Really? So now we're telling our children to just plan on living in poverty and getting welfare? Shame on you, Disney! Shame. On. You.

Something Magical

Jane took this picture today. I didn't know she was taking it. I guess she just had my phone and started snapping away. I was in the middle of changing Tommy and decided to give his sweet face a kiss. Talk about perfect timing.

We live in a day of photoshopping and cropping. In social media we do the same to our lives, putting forth the image that we want other's to see.

But out of all the beautiful and digitally edited photos I've had with my babies, I think this one's my favorite.

My clothes aren't anything special. There's a pile of laundry on the couch, a half-eaten apple on the ground. Some discarded toys, a dirty diaper, wet clothes and socks. And yet in the middle of all of that...something magical. And wonderful.

We may complain about the hard days. The never ending messes. The long to-do list. But this is what it's all about. This picture right here.

For the joy of it

When was the last time you did something just for the joy of it?

This is a question I've thought about a lot lately. I just put the finishing touches on the last chapter of my novel. That makes three intense rounds of revision. And I still have to go back and overhaul the beginning. Again. It's hundreds of hours of work. My chances of getting published are slim to none. But I keep working.

Which has led me to ponder, is it worth it?

If my story never leaves the confines of my computer, is it worth all the effort and love I've put into it?

We live in a world where, for some reason, something is only considered worthwhile if it will make money, or bring you fame. If you can be successful at it. And to be successful means other people need to think you're good at it too.

And if other people don't like it, if your work doesn't measure up with what's out there, we have bought into this notion that we must not be "good" at it and stop trying.

My daughter is an artist. She sits at my table and draws, paints, colors, and cuts for hours on end. If she goes a day without doing some form of art, she will often complain at bedtime. "Oh, I didn't do any art today!" It's an important part of her day. She feels she is missing something without it.

I've read a few things about children who are gifted at art. I discovered two different patterns. Some children are just naturally gifted to create art. They seem to be able to see and translate their vision on paper much easier than their peers. And then there is the second group of gifted children. Those who LOVE art and do it extensively. Their technique doesn't start off any better than their peers, but through hours of practice they eventually get better and better and pass up those around them in technique.

Thus, most people who are "good" at art, aren't that way because they are born with a drawing ability, but because they are born with a passion.

Every Child Is An Artist by AndreLuizBarbosa on deviantART

We are all born with a passion. Maybe not born. My passions have definitely changed throughout the years. This is normal and good. But we are all born with a drive to create. To make something out of nothing, to bring order to chaos, and beauty to life.

Each of us has something that when we do it, we feel renewed, energized, alive. But many of us have left that passion. Perhaps you were told you weren't good at it, either by yourself or someone else. Maybe you stopped when you were told "You can't make a living doing that." Maybe you didn't continue when you saw everyone who was better at it than you and figured, "What's the point?"

But why do we have to make money or "win" or be "successful" with something in order to enjoy it and pursue it? Why don't we allow ourselves to do things for the pure joy of doing them?

In our society of technology, instant gratification, longer work hours, intrusive entertainment, less quiet time, and more demands, many of use go days, weeks, months, years, without making "art." And we are losing ourselves and sacrificing a rich, inner life because of it.

Art comes in so many shapes and forms. I'm not going to list them here, but think back to when you were a child, or a teenager, or some
time when you LOVED something but stopped for some reason. I challenge you to pick it back up and do it again.

Yes, you might be terrible at it. But are you having fun? Does it bring you joy? That is the true measure of your success.

We've all heard the quote from Picasso, "Every child is an artist. The problem is how to remain an artist once he grows up."

Go back and find that artist inside you. Don't let another day go by without doing your art. Dance, sing, draw, write, garden, cook, build, film, act. There are opportunities all around you. And if there aren't, make them!

I may never publish a novel. But I will still write them. With each revision pass I improve. Every day my imagination broadens. My hands are busy, my heart is alive. And so yes, every word has been worth it. I have created something I am proud of. Something I love. Even if nobody else does.

I am an artist.

You are an artist.

I promise.

Praying for Rain

This is my first year as a resident of California. I've visited several times the last seven years. But now I live here. Right in the heart of central California. I can't go anywhere, not even down the street without passing an orchard or farm of some kind. Food is everywhere here. It truly is the land of plenty.

But today it was 70 and sunny. Which sounds great, and we made the most of it. But the nice weather is overshadowed by an uneasiness.

Where is the rain?

My husband and his family have lived in California most of their lives, and they tell me, December and January it rains. Some people get snow for Christmas. We get rain. Lots and lots of rain.

In the last three months, I can count on one hand the number of times it has rained. And some of those were quite light.

Where is the fog?

I have spent several Christmases in California. Winter mornings here are accompanied by a thick and chilly fog.

I have seen slight fog twice this winter.

Today I met a family who had been evacuated from their home in Glendora. They may get to go back at the end of the week, where they will get to deal with airing the smoke out of all their belongings.

The snow pack in the Sierras is at 17% of what is normal.

What I'm trying to say is that it's dry. And for a place that relies on agriculture so heavily, it is scary.

We are all praying for rain and snow. In two weeks, on February 2nd, all the members of the LDS church in the area will spend 24 hours fasting for rain. We're already praying, praying, and praying some more.

I'm asking you to join us. Because this isn't just a problem for California. If you eat, it's a problem for you too.