We've been programmed to think that having a baby means buying loads of stuff. Because babies need all sorts of supplies, right? Wrong!
Don't get me wrong. I bought lots of stuff for my first. And then I didn't use half of it. The amount of stuff dwindled with baby #2. And now with baby #3, we bought almost nothing.
So here's my list of all the things you don't really need (or even want).
Changing table - Wait! I really thought that every time the baby needed a diaper change I was going to go upstairs and change it on the table? Ha! That changing table became nothing but an extra couple of shelves withing a few weeks.
Closet full of clothes - Ok, so buying baby clothes is way fun. But now on baby #3, I'm going through the clothes I bought before and thinking, "Did I really put my babies in jeans?" This kid has worn nothing but onesies, gowns, and sleepers. He's comfy, I'm comfy. Let's all just be comfy!
Bouncer - Meh. I have a swing and a carseat. Do I need anything else?
Disposable Wipes - Seriously! I know I'm in the minority with this one, but reusable wipes work so much better! Who knew? I just cut up a couple receiving blankets and mixed up some wipe solution in a spray bottle. When I need a wipe, I spray a cloth with the solution to wet it down and use it. I do a load of diapers and wipes at the end of the day. (Wipe solution = 1/2 cup baby wash + 1/2 cups baby oil + 1 cup water)
Burp cloths - Let's be honest. We all just end up using whatever's close by anyway. Towels, blankets, rags, whatever.
Baby socks and shoes - Am I the only one who can't keep these on my kids' feet?
Crib/bassinet - My kids always end up sleeping in the swing or with me anyway. I didn't even try to pretend this time.
Maybe my next post will be the baby necessities!
Sunday, October 13, 2013
Saturday, October 5, 2013
I can't be Supermom. I just had a baby.
So before Mr. T made his way into the world two and a half weeks ago, I was rockin' and rolling with this whole motherhood gig. I did very involved home-preschool lessons, hadn't used my dryer in over a month (thank you clothesline), only served my kids processed food at lunch time (2 out of 3 ain't bad), and I'd just had a picture book accepted for publication. Yup, I was doing good.
Oh, and I had big plans for after the baby came. Not only was I going to continue preschool and line drying, and cutting out processed food. But I was also going to use cloth diapers and wipes, and keep writing, and stop yelling, and not let Max play i-phone games anymore, and keep the litterbox clean.
Then I actually had Tommy. And in the past couple days I've remembered what its like to have a high-needs baby. Sweet Tommy needs to be held just right, rocked just right, sleep just right. And for some reason only Rob knows how to do it just right. He can't be put down, he doesn't like his sling. He's currently going hoarse for crying, or maybe from mucus. I don't really know. He switches from being starving to having a tummyache.
On top of that, Max is in severe need of some one-on-one positive attention, a couple hours at the park and a ban from the Kindle.
So, of course, I let Max play the kindle/Iphone for 3 hours today, didn't go to the park, and let him fall asleep watching Jake and the Neverland Pirates.
Thanks to my super-nesting energy pre-Tommy, I have a month's worth of meals in the freezer, but I just bought pre-packaged oatmeal and next week we'll probably make our way to cold, sugary cereal.
My dryer is working hard again. But I am line drying my cloth diapers.
Preschool is okay, but not as in-depth as usual.
Tommy is in cloth diapers...during the day.
And I'm tired.
And frustrated.
I just want Tommy to be happy, and Max to listen, and Jane to stop whining, and my house to be spotless.
Oh, and I have a blanket to finish crocheting by the end of the month.
*SIGH*
This is when I breathe, sit down, rock the baby, and tell myself tomorrow is another day.
And Max will not be scarred for life by some time on the Kindle.
And more processed food won't kill us.
And the dryer won't destroy the planet or our budget.
The blanket might just be extra short for the blessing.
And I can't do everything.
And that's okay.
This quote came to me the other day. It's one of my favorites and good for me to remember right now.
"River's know this. There is no hurry. We shall get there someday."
Oh, and I had big plans for after the baby came. Not only was I going to continue preschool and line drying, and cutting out processed food. But I was also going to use cloth diapers and wipes, and keep writing, and stop yelling, and not let Max play i-phone games anymore, and keep the litterbox clean.
Then I actually had Tommy. And in the past couple days I've remembered what its like to have a high-needs baby. Sweet Tommy needs to be held just right, rocked just right, sleep just right. And for some reason only Rob knows how to do it just right. He can't be put down, he doesn't like his sling. He's currently going hoarse for crying, or maybe from mucus. I don't really know. He switches from being starving to having a tummyache.
On top of that, Max is in severe need of some one-on-one positive attention, a couple hours at the park and a ban from the Kindle.
So, of course, I let Max play the kindle/Iphone for 3 hours today, didn't go to the park, and let him fall asleep watching Jake and the Neverland Pirates.
Thanks to my super-nesting energy pre-Tommy, I have a month's worth of meals in the freezer, but I just bought pre-packaged oatmeal and next week we'll probably make our way to cold, sugary cereal.
My dryer is working hard again. But I am line drying my cloth diapers.
Preschool is okay, but not as in-depth as usual.
Tommy is in cloth diapers...during the day.
And I'm tired.
And frustrated.
I just want Tommy to be happy, and Max to listen, and Jane to stop whining, and my house to be spotless.
Oh, and I have a blanket to finish crocheting by the end of the month.
*SIGH*
This is when I breathe, sit down, rock the baby, and tell myself tomorrow is another day.
And Max will not be scarred for life by some time on the Kindle.
And more processed food won't kill us.
And the dryer won't destroy the planet or our budget.
The blanket might just be extra short for the blessing.
And I can't do everything.
And that's okay.
This quote came to me the other day. It's one of my favorites and good for me to remember right now.
"River's know this. There is no hurry. We shall get there someday."
Tuesday, September 24, 2013
Baby Tommy
It's amazing what babies remind us of. The great potential that is born into all of us and our great responsibilities as parents.
Thursday, September 12, 2013
The Ordain Women Movement and why I don't care whether or not you're a part of it.
I've seen a lot of different posts about the "Ordain Women" movement within the church lately. Posts on both sides of the fence. They're all about why they are or aren't joining the movement. And so whether you're for or against, we all have something in common. It's something most of us have thought about.
Because let's be honest, we are all at different places in our "faith journeys" if you want to call it that. We all will/have come across something in the gospel or the church that we have to make peace with. For some it is women and the priesthood, for others it may be church history, blacks and the priesthood, homosexuality, tithing, word of wisdom, whatever. We all have different challenges, hang-ups, questions.
But here's the other thing. We all have access to prayer, fasting, the Holy Ghost and personal revelation. Does that mean our personal revelation on these topics should be new church-wide doctrine? No. But it does mean that the Lord cares enough about us to help us find peace.
And the most important way He does this is through the Atonement.
And honestly, that's the only thing I care about.
Do you wear pants to church, want to attend the Priesthood session of General Conference and hope that one day women will be bishops too? Okay. Do you believe in a loving Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ and in the power of grace and the Atonement? Great! There's room for you here.
Do you not give a whiff about holding the Priesthood and don't understand what the big deal is? Okay. Can you help others find the peace that the Atonement brings, lift burdens and strengthen faith? Wonderful! There's room for you here.
Are you a fence sitter who thinks certain things wouldn't hurt to change and other issues with the priesthood you're mostly ambivalent about? Okay. Do you have faith that Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ know you personally and love you? Perfect! There's room for you here.
Because that's the thing about the gospel. It's all about the Atonement. In fact, it was Joseph Smith who said that everything else in the gospel is simply an appendage to the Atonement.
Are these things still "important"? Yes.
Does it make me sad when women leave the church over the priesthood? Yes. It makes me sad whenever anyone leaves the church. Not because I think they are terrible people, but because I wish they could have the joy and peace that I have in the gospel, and it makes my heartache when they don't find it here.
But to everyone out there who feels like they don't have perfectly "orthodox" views about certain gospel principles. I can tell you from talking to a lot of people, that most of us have a few thoughts about one thing or another that someone else will say are "unorthodox". We each make our own peace. We each have our own questions. Our testimonies are unique, special, personal.
And there is room for all of us.
Because let's be honest, we are all at different places in our "faith journeys" if you want to call it that. We all will/have come across something in the gospel or the church that we have to make peace with. For some it is women and the priesthood, for others it may be church history, blacks and the priesthood, homosexuality, tithing, word of wisdom, whatever. We all have different challenges, hang-ups, questions.
But here's the other thing. We all have access to prayer, fasting, the Holy Ghost and personal revelation. Does that mean our personal revelation on these topics should be new church-wide doctrine? No. But it does mean that the Lord cares enough about us to help us find peace.
And the most important way He does this is through the Atonement.
And honestly, that's the only thing I care about.
Do you wear pants to church, want to attend the Priesthood session of General Conference and hope that one day women will be bishops too? Okay. Do you believe in a loving Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ and in the power of grace and the Atonement? Great! There's room for you here.
Do you not give a whiff about holding the Priesthood and don't understand what the big deal is? Okay. Can you help others find the peace that the Atonement brings, lift burdens and strengthen faith? Wonderful! There's room for you here.
Are you a fence sitter who thinks certain things wouldn't hurt to change and other issues with the priesthood you're mostly ambivalent about? Okay. Do you have faith that Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ know you personally and love you? Perfect! There's room for you here.
Because that's the thing about the gospel. It's all about the Atonement. In fact, it was Joseph Smith who said that everything else in the gospel is simply an appendage to the Atonement.
Are these things still "important"? Yes.
Does it make me sad when women leave the church over the priesthood? Yes. It makes me sad whenever anyone leaves the church. Not because I think they are terrible people, but because I wish they could have the joy and peace that I have in the gospel, and it makes my heartache when they don't find it here.
But to everyone out there who feels like they don't have perfectly "orthodox" views about certain gospel principles. I can tell you from talking to a lot of people, that most of us have a few thoughts about one thing or another that someone else will say are "unorthodox". We each make our own peace. We each have our own questions. Our testimonies are unique, special, personal.
And there is room for all of us.
Thursday, September 5, 2013
After Two Months of Preschool at Home
I have been doing preschool at home for more than two months now. I haven't been good at writing down my lesson plans here, and probably won't be. But you can always check out my pinterest page if you need ideas.
There have been things I have learned and little triumphs. I just want to write them down here.
1. Kids love to learn! They love it.
Exhibit A: My kids ask every day, "Is it circle time yet?" or if I am taking too long getting around to it, "Mom! Let's do circle time!"
Exhibit B: We are learning about butterflies this week. On Tuesday, Jane came to me complaining that we had learned about caterpillars but she still didn't know how a caterpillar turned into a butterfly.
Exhibit C: Today both kids requested (several times) that next week we learn about sea horses. I was personally hoping to do a week just on insects, but you know what? Seahorses sounds good too.
2. It is possible to keep learning, even from preschool.
Last week we learned about spiders. I can't tell you how much I personally learned that I wouldn't have otherwise. For instance, do you know HOW spiders make their silk? I do...now. Did you know they eat their silk? I didn't. Do you know the names of a spider's body parts? I'd forgotten. How about the Bolas spider? Crab spider? Trap-door spider? Have you forgotten how cool they are? I remember now, and it was fun to see my kids get excited about it too.
3. The world really is our classroom. Sometimes we just need to open our eyes.
We took a week or two off from a really focused homeschool. We still did some circle time and reading and art projects, but we had family visiting and were in the mountains so it was spotty. But we still got to talk to the kids about Redwoods, and fire, and animals, and caterpillars, and birds, and California, and a whole bunch of other stuff. The learning didn't stop, we were just more aware to show our kids things when we went out on our walks. We talked with them more and helped show them just how awesome the world really is. And in turn, it became more awesome to me as well.
Just last week we went hunting for spiders. And when I was really looking for them, I found them. Not just found them, but I found them catching and eating insects. I found their eggsacks. It was totally cool!
4. Loosey-Goosey is okay.
I started off planning out every day a week in advance. Now I just plan out the subject, gather my materials, and then go with the flow. We still hit everything. But on hard days we might do more art projects, or book reading. On more focused days we can get to those lapbooks. Flexibility is so nice!
5. Lapbooks! Lapbooks! and more Lapboks!
I didn't know what these were until I started looking at more homeschool websites. But they are a great way for me to make sure I cover certain topics with the kids, keep a record of it, and review it with them. We add to our lapbook for the week every day. Then when Rob comes home, the kids read what we put in there both the old and the new. It is a great way to reinforce concepts. The kids are proud of their work. And we can pull them out a week or two from now and review. Awesome!
6. Kids love spending time with their parents.
I know. I know. This is a no-brainer. But I think one of the biggest reasons my kids love preschool is that it is guaranteed focused time with me. And because its intentional, it actually happens and I don't end up distracted at the end of the day wondering if I spent any time with the kids. Some days are still hard. And there is still sometimes yelling. But I feel a strengthened bond. I feel like I am better able to understand and relate with my kids. I've noticed things about them that I hadn't before. I love that.
7. My kids are learning.
When we started 2 months ago, neither one of my kids was very good at number recognition. Today I realized that they both recognize and can count 1-10. We are working on 11-20, but still. Progress! Two months ago lowercase letters were hopeless. They aren't 100% yet, but we are closer. Progress! On top of that, Jane has blossomed into this artist. She mixes her mediums, creates all sorts of things. She's started mixing colors when she paints. She tries all sorts of techniques. It's amazing!
Learning is amazing.
Kids are amazing.
Being a part of it is amazing.
There have been things I have learned and little triumphs. I just want to write them down here.
1. Kids love to learn! They love it.
Exhibit A: My kids ask every day, "Is it circle time yet?" or if I am taking too long getting around to it, "Mom! Let's do circle time!"
Exhibit B: We are learning about butterflies this week. On Tuesday, Jane came to me complaining that we had learned about caterpillars but she still didn't know how a caterpillar turned into a butterfly.
Exhibit C: Today both kids requested (several times) that next week we learn about sea horses. I was personally hoping to do a week just on insects, but you know what? Seahorses sounds good too.
2. It is possible to keep learning, even from preschool.
Last week we learned about spiders. I can't tell you how much I personally learned that I wouldn't have otherwise. For instance, do you know HOW spiders make their silk? I do...now. Did you know they eat their silk? I didn't. Do you know the names of a spider's body parts? I'd forgotten. How about the Bolas spider? Crab spider? Trap-door spider? Have you forgotten how cool they are? I remember now, and it was fun to see my kids get excited about it too.
3. The world really is our classroom. Sometimes we just need to open our eyes.
We took a week or two off from a really focused homeschool. We still did some circle time and reading and art projects, but we had family visiting and were in the mountains so it was spotty. But we still got to talk to the kids about Redwoods, and fire, and animals, and caterpillars, and birds, and California, and a whole bunch of other stuff. The learning didn't stop, we were just more aware to show our kids things when we went out on our walks. We talked with them more and helped show them just how awesome the world really is. And in turn, it became more awesome to me as well.
Just last week we went hunting for spiders. And when I was really looking for them, I found them. Not just found them, but I found them catching and eating insects. I found their eggsacks. It was totally cool!
4. Loosey-Goosey is okay.
I started off planning out every day a week in advance. Now I just plan out the subject, gather my materials, and then go with the flow. We still hit everything. But on hard days we might do more art projects, or book reading. On more focused days we can get to those lapbooks. Flexibility is so nice!
5. Lapbooks! Lapbooks! and more Lapboks!
I didn't know what these were until I started looking at more homeschool websites. But they are a great way for me to make sure I cover certain topics with the kids, keep a record of it, and review it with them. We add to our lapbook for the week every day. Then when Rob comes home, the kids read what we put in there both the old and the new. It is a great way to reinforce concepts. The kids are proud of their work. And we can pull them out a week or two from now and review. Awesome!
6. Kids love spending time with their parents.
I know. I know. This is a no-brainer. But I think one of the biggest reasons my kids love preschool is that it is guaranteed focused time with me. And because its intentional, it actually happens and I don't end up distracted at the end of the day wondering if I spent any time with the kids. Some days are still hard. And there is still sometimes yelling. But I feel a strengthened bond. I feel like I am better able to understand and relate with my kids. I've noticed things about them that I hadn't before. I love that.
7. My kids are learning.
When we started 2 months ago, neither one of my kids was very good at number recognition. Today I realized that they both recognize and can count 1-10. We are working on 11-20, but still. Progress! Two months ago lowercase letters were hopeless. They aren't 100% yet, but we are closer. Progress! On top of that, Jane has blossomed into this artist. She mixes her mediums, creates all sorts of things. She's started mixing colors when she paints. She tries all sorts of techniques. It's amazing!
Learning is amazing.
Kids are amazing.
Being a part of it is amazing.
Thursday, August 15, 2013
Freezer Meals - 20 Meals, $140
Today I spent about $140 and made 20 dinners! It was awesome and is going to be so nice once the baby comes. Here are the recipes I used.
Black Bean Chili
Italian Sausage, Onions, and Peppers
Beef Stroganoff
Sticky Chicky
Honey Chicken
Lemon Marinade Chicken
Black Bean Chili
Italian Sausage, Onions, and Peppers
Beef Stroganoff
Sticky Chicky
Honey Chicken
Lemon Marinade Chicken
Friday, August 9, 2013
A Mother's Journal - Part 2
Today Jane came up to me while I was doing my hair and makeup. I helped her on to the counter. She looked at me and said, "Mommy, can I always stay with you?"
"Yes, you can always stay with me," I replied with a hug.
"I always want to be with you."
I just wanted to write it down, because I know that all too soon I'll never hear little comments like that. And in about 14 years she'll be ready to get out of dodge. I know. I've been there. But right now...I'm just relishing this.
Max kicked me in the back today. He got in trouble and I said, "Max that hurt me. That hurt the baby. When you hurt me, you hurt the baby." His remorse was instantaneous. He immediately picked up a blanket and brought it to me in the kitchen. He lifted it to my stomach and whispered. "I didn't meant to hurt the baby. I didn't mean to." Then he gave me a big hug. Sometimes he's rough, but underneath that layer is a whole lot of soft and sweetness. Sometimes we both just need reminding, me and him.
I've started reading "The Mouse and the Motorcycle," to the kids. We are only in the third chapter, but I'm realizing that Jane doesn't ever hold out much hope for her characters. Every time I ask her about a character, in any book we haven't read before, along the lines of, "Do you think he'll get out/get what he wants/solve the problem?" She always replies with a very confident "Nope." Right now Ralph is trapped in the waste basket and according to Jane, he's doomed. In face she went so far as to lay out exactly what would happen between the trashcan, the dumpster, and the garbage truck.
The other day I checked Postsecret. Something I haven't done in a couple years. One of the postcards said, "I think all stay-at-home mom's are just lazy." Of course, it rankled me for a moment. Not that it's something I've never heard before. I know lots of people believe that. But the next few thoughts that hit me were a bit different than usual. I know that my day is not as "busy" as a mother who works. I can fit my housework into a whole day instead of a few hours. Quality time with my kids isn't necessarily anything stressful, many times it involves sitting at a park while they play, making rolls with Max when Jane doesn't want to play, or painting a picture.
Most people don't know this, but I actually was accepted to do biomedical research with a professor at Creighton. After taking the GRE and getting all the letters of recommendation I got the e-mail. He'd love to work with me. Now I just needed to apply to Creighton, which was more of a formality, and I'd be on my way to a Masters. Except I couldn't do it. I had to have the sit-down, honesty chat with myself. We've all had it. The "Why am I doing this discussion?" Because the truth was, while I love chemistry, I hate research. Hate it. So why was I going through all the hoop jumping? Well, because that was what was expected of me! I didn't want anyone to think I was wasting my potential! What would the people back home think? That's when I gave myself a little slap and said "What do you want?"
Well, you obviously know how that conversation with myself went. So when I looked at that postcard I though, "Am I lazy?" I guess that depends on your definition. Isn't it funny how today in our society we wear our busyness like some kind of badge? Like the more we have to do and the more stressed we are, the more valuable we are? I mean, if you're not stressed and out-of-your-mind busy can you really be important? Successful? And yet, so many people, especially mothers, feel like they can't do anything well. Their mothering cuts into their career, their career cuts into their mothering, we are driven to be uber-successful in everything we do from decorating, to parenting, to moving up the corporate ladder and it's either be the best or be a failure. How is this healthy when the truth is most of us will just be normal people, with normal careers, and normal children?
I stepped off that path years ago. Of course, I could try to tout how busy I am and how much work I do to try and impress everyone else. I could put my kids in every activity under the sun so that we spend our days shuttling all over kingdom come. Would that make me "not lazy"? Would that make me productive? No. Over the last year or two I have come to appreciate more and more the beauty of "slow". Slow lifestyle, slow food, slow childhoods, slow entertainment. Slow, enriching, rewarding, with time to reflect, enjoy, savor, and dream.
Maybe that makes me lazy to some. I'm glad to remark with Mr. Butler, "Frankly, my dear. I don't give a damn."
"Yes, you can always stay with me," I replied with a hug.
"I always want to be with you."
I just wanted to write it down, because I know that all too soon I'll never hear little comments like that. And in about 14 years she'll be ready to get out of dodge. I know. I've been there. But right now...I'm just relishing this.
Max kicked me in the back today. He got in trouble and I said, "Max that hurt me. That hurt the baby. When you hurt me, you hurt the baby." His remorse was instantaneous. He immediately picked up a blanket and brought it to me in the kitchen. He lifted it to my stomach and whispered. "I didn't meant to hurt the baby. I didn't mean to." Then he gave me a big hug. Sometimes he's rough, but underneath that layer is a whole lot of soft and sweetness. Sometimes we both just need reminding, me and him.
I've started reading "The Mouse and the Motorcycle," to the kids. We are only in the third chapter, but I'm realizing that Jane doesn't ever hold out much hope for her characters. Every time I ask her about a character, in any book we haven't read before, along the lines of, "Do you think he'll get out/get what he wants/solve the problem?" She always replies with a very confident "Nope." Right now Ralph is trapped in the waste basket and according to Jane, he's doomed. In face she went so far as to lay out exactly what would happen between the trashcan, the dumpster, and the garbage truck.
The other day I checked Postsecret. Something I haven't done in a couple years. One of the postcards said, "I think all stay-at-home mom's are just lazy." Of course, it rankled me for a moment. Not that it's something I've never heard before. I know lots of people believe that. But the next few thoughts that hit me were a bit different than usual. I know that my day is not as "busy" as a mother who works. I can fit my housework into a whole day instead of a few hours. Quality time with my kids isn't necessarily anything stressful, many times it involves sitting at a park while they play, making rolls with Max when Jane doesn't want to play, or painting a picture.
Most people don't know this, but I actually was accepted to do biomedical research with a professor at Creighton. After taking the GRE and getting all the letters of recommendation I got the e-mail. He'd love to work with me. Now I just needed to apply to Creighton, which was more of a formality, and I'd be on my way to a Masters. Except I couldn't do it. I had to have the sit-down, honesty chat with myself. We've all had it. The "Why am I doing this discussion?" Because the truth was, while I love chemistry, I hate research. Hate it. So why was I going through all the hoop jumping? Well, because that was what was expected of me! I didn't want anyone to think I was wasting my potential! What would the people back home think? That's when I gave myself a little slap and said "What do you want?"
Well, you obviously know how that conversation with myself went. So when I looked at that postcard I though, "Am I lazy?" I guess that depends on your definition. Isn't it funny how today in our society we wear our busyness like some kind of badge? Like the more we have to do and the more stressed we are, the more valuable we are? I mean, if you're not stressed and out-of-your-mind busy can you really be important? Successful? And yet, so many people, especially mothers, feel like they can't do anything well. Their mothering cuts into their career, their career cuts into their mothering, we are driven to be uber-successful in everything we do from decorating, to parenting, to moving up the corporate ladder and it's either be the best or be a failure. How is this healthy when the truth is most of us will just be normal people, with normal careers, and normal children?
I stepped off that path years ago. Of course, I could try to tout how busy I am and how much work I do to try and impress everyone else. I could put my kids in every activity under the sun so that we spend our days shuttling all over kingdom come. Would that make me "not lazy"? Would that make me productive? No. Over the last year or two I have come to appreciate more and more the beauty of "slow". Slow lifestyle, slow food, slow childhoods, slow entertainment. Slow, enriching, rewarding, with time to reflect, enjoy, savor, and dream.
Maybe that makes me lazy to some. I'm glad to remark with Mr. Butler, "Frankly, my dear. I don't give a damn."
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