So before Mr. T made his way into the world two and a half weeks ago, I was rockin' and rolling with this whole motherhood gig. I did very involved home-preschool lessons, hadn't used my dryer in over a month (thank you clothesline), only served my kids processed food at lunch time (2 out of 3 ain't bad), and I'd just had a picture book accepted for publication. Yup, I was doing good.
Oh, and I had big plans for after the baby came. Not only was I going to continue preschool and line drying, and cutting out processed food. But I was also going to use cloth diapers and wipes, and keep writing, and stop yelling, and not let Max play i-phone games anymore, and keep the litterbox clean.
Then I actually had Tommy. And in the past couple days I've remembered what its like to have a high-needs baby. Sweet Tommy needs to be held just right, rocked just right, sleep just right. And for some reason only Rob knows how to do it just right. He can't be put down, he doesn't like his sling. He's currently going hoarse for crying, or maybe from mucus. I don't really know. He switches from being starving to having a tummyache.
On top of that, Max is in severe need of some one-on-one positive attention, a couple hours at the park and a ban from the Kindle.
So, of course, I let Max play the kindle/Iphone for 3 hours today, didn't go to the park, and let him fall asleep watching Jake and the Neverland Pirates.
Thanks to my super-nesting energy pre-Tommy, I have a month's worth of meals in the freezer, but I just bought pre-packaged oatmeal and next week we'll probably make our way to cold, sugary cereal.
My dryer is working hard again. But I am line drying my cloth diapers.
Preschool is okay, but not as in-depth as usual.
Tommy is in cloth diapers...during the day.
And I'm tired.
I just want Tommy to be happy, and Max to listen, and Jane to stop whining, and my house to be spotless.
Oh, and I have a blanket to finish crocheting by the end of the month.
This is when I breathe, sit down, rock the baby, and tell myself tomorrow is another day.
And Max will not be scarred for life by some time on the Kindle.
And more processed food won't kill us.
And the dryer won't destroy the planet or our budget.
The blanket might just be extra short for the blessing.
And I can't do everything.
And that's okay.
This quote came to me the other day. It's one of my favorites and good for me to remember right now.
"River's know this. There is no hurry. We shall get there someday."