A Mother's Journal

I keep meaning to write all of these things down somewhere so I never forget them. And I will. But it is just so much easier t type them. So now you get a small glimpse of my thoughts and memories.

- Last week I took the kids to a vintage boutique. Inside was lots of jewelry. I decided to pick some out for myself and my sister who has a birthday coming up. Jane really wanted a necklace of her own, but I didn't want to spend that kind of money on a necklace she wouldn't really appreciate and probably lose. Plus they didn't have an easy release clasp. I explained this to Jane and told her we were looking for Aunt Kim. I pulled out one of the necklaces and held it up for Jane to see.
     "Who do you think would like this necklace," I asked. "Mommy or Aunt Kim."  Jane was very quiet. She pursed those little lips and looked up at me. With a soft voice she said, "Uh, Jane?"  I couldn't help it. I bent down and gave her a big hug and kiss and told her that we would go and get a special necklace for her at Wal-mart, and how did she feel about that.
     "Sounds good for me," she replied. A few moments later she tugged on my pants and said, "Mommy, how 'bout we make a candy necklace."
     She truly is my sweet, simple girl.

-  Max is all boy. He got kicked out of nursery last week for being too rough with the other kids. He has a penchant for turning anything into a bat. And though we are working on it, he thinks it is hilarious to chase Jane around the house with things. She is just sure he is going to hit her. This fear comes from experience. Half the time now, I don't think he is really going to hit her. He just thinks it is a fun game to make her think he is going to. Also, for some reason, Jane has a frisbee magnet in her head. It seems like no matter what Max is aiming for with his frisbee, it ends up hitting Jane in the head 50% of the time. So now, of course, any time Max picks up the frisbee Jane runs from the room screaming and crying. And I can't blame her.

-  The other night, after I put Jane's jammies on, she opened the back door and sat down. She started telling me about the moon and I sat down next to her to look at the sky. It was cloudy and there wasn't much to see except for a few stars in the corners of the sky. Jane pointed to one and said, "She's brushing her hair." It took me a second to understand what she was saying. "The star is brushing her hair?" Jane nodded. "Is she getting ready for bed time?" I asked. "Yes," Jane replied.  I pointed to another star. "Is that one brushing her teeth?" "Yes," said Jane. Then she pointed to another star. "That one's putting on monkey jammies just like Jane's." Here she giggled and walked out to the yard, pointing at more stars and talking and giggling about how they were all wearing monkey jammies.

- I've been thinking lately about how my beliefs stack up with my actions. Especially as far as putting my money and time where my mouth is. It can be overwhelming to think of all the problems in the world and feel so helpless to solve anything. I've come to the conclusion that right now the best thing I can do is be a good mother and involved member of neighborhood and community. Many problems need to be noticed before they can be taken care of. I can donate some money, but not as much as I would like until Rb and I work our way out of some of the burden of this financial debt. I can help here and there, but I realized that I am just in a different season of my life. I can't take my kids on foreign volunteer excursions. I can't even take them to the soup kitchen. So for now, I will give, help where I can, be a good neighbor, friend and mother, and try to make wise purchases from local businesses and companies that are good stewards of their employees and the earth. I realize that the season for much giving and service is in the future. And by that time I will feel even more blessed than I already do. And I will have much more to give.

- We are potty training. Yesterday was great with only two accidents. Today we've had more misses than hits. But that is the nature of the beast. It will get better. And soon there won't be anymore babies in this house. No more paci's or diapers. Just in time to start thinking about having another little one, I guess.

-  I have found a new hobby. Writing. I sent off a very promising revision to Highlight's. I haven't heard back yet, but it hasn't been that long. Now I am working on another article about Kiwi's and conservation dogs. It has been very interesting so far, but it will be more difficult to write than the last one as there is less of a story line to the information. I love it though. I love the connection and information from people all over the world, deeply passionate about what they do.  I have been enjoying my writing. Who knows how much success will come from it, but it is a talent I want t develop. So that means practice. I was wondering the other day about if it was the best use of my time. I usually only write outside Max's bedroom while I wait for him to fall asleep. It doesn't take away from my kids, although sometimes it takes my thoughts far away in daydreams. But a few weeks ago I got a blessing from a leader in our church. He barely knows me. We just moved here. But he mentioned at least three times balancing my time so that I was able to pursue my interests. S I took that as a "keep going" message.

- Jane's IEP meeting was on Monday. She still qualifies as delayed in some areas, but in other areas she is ahead of the curve. Like in her knowledge of letters, colors, and shapes. It was so nice hearing those positives along with the things to work on.

Well, that's all for now. I'm off to make "star cookies" with the kids.