Grieving as a family is hard. Everyone is on their own timetable in the process. Someone has hit anger, others are at numbness and exhaustion, some depression. Sometimes you really get lucky and everyone hits anger together (not great). Some people want to separate, others always someone around. Some want to "do something" and others want to melt into the couch. You all want talk about it, you don't want to talk about it. One wants the visitors to leave, one wants them to keep coming.
Grieving without family is harder. Nobody else understands the way they do. They understand the jokes, the memories, they're okay talk about it over and over. You're all crazy together, and sad together, and hopeful together.
People are wonderful. They want to help. We have had more evidence of this in the last ten days than I've ever seen. I can't tell you how touching it was to see a line of cars pull up outside my mother-in-law's house and so many people unload with lawn mowers, rakes, shovels, mulch, etc.
People are callous. Most people when they found out were willing to bend over backwards to accommodate us. But our landlords decided to visit us the day of the graveside unannounced, inform us that they are hiking the rent and have a friend willing to pay and want to know if we'll renew the contract at the new rent. Our request for 48 hours to consider was flatly denied, even with our circumstances.
Our life the last ten days has been a roller coaster. We bought into the practice, Rob's dad died, we felt the love of so many, we found out we have to move at the end of the month, Rob's birthday, Mother's Day, family, friends, love, and heartache.
So much of life in such a short amount of time.
We're exhausted. Emotionally. Physically. Spiritually. I just want to shut off my mind and have time stop.
We're energized. Life is short, and it's precious. It's too short for anger and grudges. For time wasted doing stupid stuff on the internet of watching TV shows you don't really care about. We're reminded of what matters and what doesn't
Because time doesn't stop. Life does go on. Everything is different now and yet the world is still the same.