You Have Permission to Step Off the Anger Treadmill

I debated in high school. The experience has given me the ability to see both sides of an issue. A lot of times it feels like more of a curse than a blessing. But in the past few years I have noticed a trend. Anger. There is always something to be mad about. Last week it was Chik-fil-A. The week before that it was the US Olympic uniforms being made in China. A little before that it was Obamacare. Before that it was.....you fill in the blank. There's always going to be something that we don't agree with. Sometimes we are upset as a nation, sometimes our outrage splits down party lines. And for some reason we have come to the conclusion that the best response is anger.

I am now giving you permission to step off that treadmill. Next week there will be something else to get your panties in a bunch about. Heck, every commercial break during the Olympics is filled with negative political ads. There's nothing I love more when trying to cheer on my country in solidarity than to feel divided during the commercials. 

Hate and anger seem to be this two-way street that everyone walks down while loudly complaining that other people are on the road with them.

Technology is great, but it has left us quite desensitized in my opinion. Because of this, it seems that political leaders and media personnel (from all areas, TV, blogs, print) feel the need to often resort to stirring their followers up into a frenzy just to make them care about an issue. It's like, if we aren't foaming at the mouth, we won't call that congressman, boycott that restaraunt, go to that town hall meeting, etc. 

The other downfall of technology is that it gives people the opportunity to easily bash those they disagree with, with much more hate and vitriol than they probably would in person. I'm amazed at the number of people who feel inclined to respond to the little facebook notifications that my church puts out just asking people to talk about what their parents taught them or what brings them peace, with mocking and anger. What kind of person subscribes to a feed of an organization that they don't agree with? It's like we want to be angry. It's like we thrive on it and enjoy the thrill of that moment when we ball our fists and grind our teeth.

The problem is anger is exhausting.

I once saw a bumper sticker that said "If you aren't upset, you aren't paying attention." And maybe that's true. I used to be on the anger treadmill. Always upset about something. There's so much injustice, heartache, sadness, hate and evil in the world. It is too much for one person to really take in all the time. It isn't healthy. It affects our well-being and it affects my mothering when I am always angry, or upset, or feel slandered by an angry comment from someone who doesn't even know me but disagrees with something I believe.

It's okay to stay up with politics. It's good! But you don't have to respond with anger. Simply take a deep breath, remind yourself that politicians are human and as humans we all come from different backgrounds and will disagree and THAT' OKAY! Then DO SOMETHING. Calmly call your representative, or attend that town hall, donate to that cause, change a habit, swear off that restaraunt, or proudly go to that restaurant. Whatever it is, do it, and leave it at that. Don't get in comment fights on the internet. For your sanity, I suggest never reading the comments anyways.

Sometimes, it seems there is nothing we can do to change or help the situation that leaves us angry and upset.  Or, what little we've done doesn't seem to be enough. I think those are the times when we feel the need to fight with others about it, or get angry about it, in hopes that it will make us feel more powerful against the situation or like we are making a bigger difference. We aren't. You aren't. It's not worth it. 

You can't fix everything. But you can do your best to improve your corner of the world. And I mean the physical world, not your corner of the virtual world. Love your neighbor, visit the sickly woman down the street, give to the homeless shelter. Is it helping the world find Kony? No. But is it making a difference? Yes. A lot more than getting mad about what a terrible person whoever is this week's person-to-hate and stewing about it all night.

Show your children that happiness and change come through action, kindness, and love. Hate and anger only rip us apart and keep us up at night.

Mommy Humiliation

Like most mothers, I can't even find privacy in the bathroom.  This has had the unfortunate result of Miss J knowing, and asking, all about the end result of a menstrual cycle.  I had to explain in 3.5-year-old terms to try and calm her worries.

Well, I had to go stock up on supplies at the store.  If you thought getting feminine hygiene products was embarrassing enough as a teenager when the cashier was some boy from school, try doing it with chatty little girls who know way more than they should.

I was rushing down the aisle with "the package".  The whole time Miss J was trotting behind saying (quite loudly, I might add) "You got bloods, Mommy?  These make your bum feel better? Your bum hurt?  Alright, these make your bum feel better."

We could not get out of there fast enough.

Rapunzel

This week, we learned the story of Rapunzel.  Not familiar with the story?  I had to shorten and simplify it, because the original is just a tad long and complex for my 3-year-old.  I would be willing to put up a vieo of me telling the story if you want some ideas on how to tell a story out loud.  Let me know, if you would like that.

You will need:

popsicle sticks

contact paper

yellow yarn

vanilla wafers

strawberry frosting

Monday: Tell the story and talk about the letter.  This week's letter is H for hair.  Draw a picture of the story with a big letter "H" either on the window, or on a large sheet of paper and display it by the kitchen table so you can talk about it at meal times.

Tuesday:  Make Popsicle stick puppets.  You can use the pictures I have here or find your own.  Color them, cut them out, and tape them on popsicle sticks.  If coloring holds your child's attention, have them join you, if not, do it on your own.  Then tell the story with the puppets.  Laminate them if you want them to last longer.  Your kids will want to play with them!  I added a small braid of yellow yarn onto the tower so that Rapunzel could "let down her hair".

Wednesday: Act it out.  I surprised the kids by braiding a long bunch of yarn and fastening it to our stair railing.  When Miss J woke up she shouted for me to "Come and Look!  It's Rapunzel's hair!"  Then she wanted her brother to come help her get it down.  Later that day we acted out the story with some letting down Rapunzel's hair and someone else climbing up the stairs holding onto it.

Thursday:  Make "hair art"  Cut several different lengths of yellow yarn.  Cut a large piece of contact paper into some shape(a heart, sun, tear drop) Then decorate it by arranging the yarn on the sticky part.  Cover with another piece of contact paper, and hand in a window.

Friday:  Eat it!  Make Rapunzel's tower out of Vanilla Wafers and strawberry frosting. 

 Don't forget to tell the story at least once every day!

Fairy Tale Preschool

I realized last week, that the preschool curriculum I was using was ok, but I didn't feel passionate about it.  So I decided to make up my own.  I really want my learning interactions with my kids to be about more than just the ABC's and 123's.  I feel like with reading and talking to them (and a healthy dose of letter factory) kids will catch on to those things in their own time, without it being pushed.  I wanted to give my kids more of a literary foundation than just the basics.  Thus, my fairy tale preschool curriculum.

Fairy tales, folk tales, myths, fables, and legends are an important basis to understand future literary works.  Especially more complex works that will draw on them for allusions and metaphors.  They also teach a child about how a story works, the build up, the foreshadowing, the climax, the end.  Children love fairy tales!  Adults may find some of them in their purest form gruesome, but children don't think like that.  They just enjoy the story, and when good wins out over evil, they feel safe in their world.

The way I am doing it, is that every week we focus on a different fairy tale.  Last week it was "The Gingerbread Man".  This week it is Rapunzel.  I choose a word from the fairy tale and make it's first letter, the letter of the week.  Then I write the letter really big on our window, with a small illustration of the word.  Sometimes I add a picture from the story.  This week, H is for hair, and there is a picture of Rapunzel's hair flowing out of her tower to the witch down below, while the prince hides and watches.

Every day of the week you tell the story.  I highly recommend telling the story aloud without a book.  Children love storytelling, and imagining what is happening.  Get into it.  Add some details, give your characters different voices, change your volume.  If storytelling isn't your forte, practice a few times to make sure you have the story right.  Try and keep the story as similar as possible with every retelling.  Repetition is key.  Don't be surprised when your little one asks you to tell the story again, and again, and again!

Every day of the week has a different theme/activity to go along with the story.
Monday - tell it
Tuesday - Puppet Show
Wednesday - Act it out
Thursday - Arts/craft it
Friday - Eat it

So last week I told "The Gingerbread Man" story on Monday, went over F is for Fox and printed off a picture of a fox to show the kids.  Then Tuesday, I printed off these coloring pages of the different characters in the story, we colored them and taped them onto popsicle sticks and told the story using the puppets.  Wednesday, we acted out the story together.  Miss J couldn't decide who she wanted to be and tried out several different characters.  Thursday, we decorated felt gingerbread men and turned them into hand puppets.  Friday we baked, decorated and ate gingerbread men cookies.

I will post what we are doing every week and you can follow along or use past stories if you want.  Or you can make it up for yourself and just follow the flexible guidelines for each day.  The most important part is telling the story every day.  I have already had so many fun moments with my kids, and the thoroughly enjoy this part of our days.   I can't wait to share more with you!

Our Screen Free Week

...wasn't 100% screen free.  But it was FAR less than normal.  Except for searching for rental homes on Tuesday and the occasional printing off of a coloring page, I was able to keep my internet time to after the kids went to bed, and even then it was pretty short for the most part.  The kids didn't even seem to notice the change much.  The weather was beautiful and we played outside.  There were some changes though.

The kids played more, and their play was more imaginative, deeper, and lasted longer.

We found a frog in our backyard, visited the river, and had picnics at the park.

I was able to take pleasure in things I wouldn't have even noticed before.  For example, on Wednesday I was making bread and a movement from my favorite symphony came on the radio, and I was able to just appreciate that moment of beauty and peace.

I got a lot more done!  We had homemade bread every day this week (I made it on Monday and Wednesday).   My house was cleaner. I wrote thank you notes, planned lessons, and even scrapped the preschool curriculum I was using and made my own (more on that later this week, let's just say it is so much more fun).

I felt sharper, and more with it, more in the moment.

I realized on Tuesday after I had been on the internet for a while, that I just felt blah.  My mind felt passive and kind of numbly buzzing.  I realized that all the times when my fingers itch to get on the internet, with no good reason other than to surf, that I am just craving that feeling of doing something without actually having to think.  That escape.  I finished up "Simplicity Parenting" (if you haven't read it, you should) and the author quotes a definition of addiction he liked, and I realized that it pertained to me.  He said that an addiction is using an outside stimulus to avoid inward growth.  When I looked around at all the things I was doing, the little moments and pauses, the extra work, the extra cuddles, books and time with my kids, I realized that I had been replacing inward growth with my outside stimulus of choice...the internet.

So things are changing around here.  I am going to continue the pattern of only checking my social media and  e-mail after the kids go to bed.  I may still get on the computer to print something off or look up a recipe or craft, but other than that, I am rally going to try to keep the computer off during the day.  Same for the TV.

Although, as a caveat to all of this, I am moving soon, so I am sure the computer and TV will be used a lot here in the next 6 weeks to get things done.

I enjoyed the change. I enjoyed the peace, the small things I wouldn't have noticed before.  I know most people didn't participate, but I would challenge you just to make a small change, a slight drawback in your screen activity, and see what you notice!

How to Prepare for Screen Free Week

The latest studies, show that kids 2 and up spend 4 hours a day in front of a TV screen!  And that doesn't include computer time or video games.  Yes, you are allowed to scream right now.  But what about you?  How much time do you spend in front of a screen?Yes, you have to count computer time.

Screen Free Week starts April 30th and goes through May 6th.  The challenge is to turn off all the screens in your house for the week and see what happens.  Hopefully the weather will cooperate and we can spend that time outside.  While I am going to try to turn off the TV for the kids and the computer during the day for me, both will still be available after the kids go to bed for me.  We are in the middle of a move and need to be able to check and send important e-mails.  We also just rented 3 movies that need watched by Wednesday, so.....that is my excuse.  However, I am going to try to only check my e-mail.  No facebook, no pinterest, no online news reading, no blogs.  Cold turkey.

It is going to be hard, so how am I going to prepare to soften the blow?  Especially, since most of our lives seem to be on these little computers.  You are going to have to go back to being old school in a few things.  Here are a few ideas to make the week easier.

1 - Take a look at your day and when you use TV.  Then, brainstorm activities your child can easily and happily do on his own without much help.  This will help replace the TV time during dinner prep or other busy times.

2 - Plan on getting up when your early riser gets up.  No more TV for one last half hour of sleep this week.

3 - Get all the important numbers you think you may need this week off your computer now, locate your phone book, and just remember 1800-free-411.  If you still need a number, forgive yourself and look it upon the internet, but control yourself and keep your computer time to that one activity.

4 - Print off all the recipes you will need for the week.  Plan ahead!

5 - Get a hold of a radio for music and news.

6 - Hide your computer!  No I'm serious.  I am sending mine off to work with Rob so I won't be able to give into temptation.

7 - Plan your time.  What are you going to fill in that extra time with?  Get a good book, start a project/craft (print off the instructions if necessary), clean and organize.

8 - Take advantage of all the extra moments where you are truly "in the moment".  Have your camera ready.  Plan a few outings to a park.  Live in the moment.

Good Luck!
Will you be participating in Screen-Free Week?  Are you like us and need to make a few adjustments?  What are your plans?

Mother's Day Candles

When you think about gifts for Mother's Day, what to you makes the perfect gift?  For me it is something thoughtful, perhaps handmade, personalized, and frugile (let's face it, you have to buy for mom's, grandma's, daughters, it can get expensive).

These candles are the perfect Mother's Day present (or any time of year present if we are completely honest).  They only cost whatever the candle costs plus a dollar for tissue paper.  I got these jumbo ones at Walmart for about 7.50 a piece.  You can personalize them with any quote, note, or picture your little heart desires.  And you get to feel crafty giving a homemade gift!

I found the idea for these candles here. If I were to do it again, I think I would cut out the background on the pictures and just have the people on the candle (like shown on the website).  The link I provided gives very broad instructions, here are some tips to make this project easy-peasy.

1 - Cut your tissue paper (yes just regular tissue paper gift wrap) down to about the size of a regular sheet of paper.  Then tape the tissue paper around the edges to a piece of printer paper.   This makes it possible to print your picture or graphic onto the tissue paper.  Then print it out.

2 - Cut out picture and pin to candle.

3 - The original instructions call for a heat gun.  A hair dryer worked just fine for me.  You are melting the candle to the tissue paper.  Your picture will look like it is starting to get wet, you want the whole picture "wet" or melted to the candle.  Make sure you have it totally smoothed out because it can get wrinkled.  Also don't overdo it on the melting of the wax will bleed through the tissue paper.

And you're done.  In about 10 minutes.  Now go make one for all the mothers in your life.  Then make some more to decorate your house.  I am thinking you can print off quotes and put them on your candles.

By the way, I found this quote that would go perfectly either on the candle or in the card with the candle.  

The love of a mother is the veil of a softer light between the heart and the heavenly Father. ~Samuel Taylor Coleridge