11 Tips for A Peaceful Christmas

I know it seems early, but I truly believe the secret to a peaceful, meaningful Christmas has to start early. Here are just a few tips and tricks that have helped me in the past and that I have learned from other great women in my life.

1. Shop for as much as possible now so you can stay out of the store in December. Christmas shop...now! Skip that Black Friday sale. Research shows that, except for a few select items the stores use to lure buyers, everything else is actually a better buy in October! I would also include food. Staying out of the stores will help you avoid long lines and holiday meltdowns from your kids. And just think how relaxed you'll feel when you aren't worrying about Christmas presents!

2. Keep the TV off or just watch movies. I love Christmas commercials, but let's face it. The last thing you need in December is for your kids to see a commercial for some and suddenly change their Christmas list and leave you in a lurch. Avoiding the materialistic side of Christmas will also help make it more meaningful.

3.  Sit down at the beginning of the holiday and write down everything you both want, and have, to do (include your kids tthoughts). Then cross off half the list. We often feel there is so much we HAVE to do to make Christmas special, but frankly, it will feel a lot more special to you and your kids if you aren't beyond stressed!

4. Get your Christmas cards made and addressed before Thanksgiving so all you have to do is send them out. If this isn't possible, think about sending out a Valentine's card instead.

5.  Remember that list you made? Write down one thing to do every day on a calendar and then do it!

6. Be sure to include at least one service project or donation in your holiday and then involve your kids.

7.  Don't let Pinterest get to you! I ran into this at Halloween, feeling like I must be a lousy mom because I wasn't doing all these awesome crafts with my kids. Make Christmas cuddly, snuggly, warm and happy. It doesn't always have to be wrapped in scrap paper and glitter.

8. Wrap your presents early so you don't have to do it Christmas eve. Just do it!

9.  Read several Christmas stories. Out loud. Feel free to bawl your eyes out.

10. Have friends over...once.

11. Read about Christ. Every. Single. Day. Talk to your kids about it.

What do you do to have a peaceful, meaningful Christmas?

A Mother's Journal

I keep meaning to write all of these things down somewhere so I never forget them. And I will. But it is just so much easier t type them. So now you get a small glimpse of my thoughts and memories.

- Last week I took the kids to a vintage boutique. Inside was lots of jewelry. I decided to pick some out for myself and my sister who has a birthday coming up. Jane really wanted a necklace of her own, but I didn't want to spend that kind of money on a necklace she wouldn't really appreciate and probably lose. Plus they didn't have an easy release clasp. I explained this to Jane and told her we were looking for Aunt Kim. I pulled out one of the necklaces and held it up for Jane to see.
     "Who do you think would like this necklace," I asked. "Mommy or Aunt Kim."  Jane was very quiet. She pursed those little lips and looked up at me. With a soft voice she said, "Uh, Jane?"  I couldn't help it. I bent down and gave her a big hug and kiss and told her that we would go and get a special necklace for her at Wal-mart, and how did she feel about that.
     "Sounds good for me," she replied. A few moments later she tugged on my pants and said, "Mommy, how 'bout we make a candy necklace."
     She truly is my sweet, simple girl.

-  Max is all boy. He got kicked out of nursery last week for being too rough with the other kids. He has a penchant for turning anything into a bat. And though we are working on it, he thinks it is hilarious to chase Jane around the house with things. She is just sure he is going to hit her. This fear comes from experience. Half the time now, I don't think he is really going to hit her. He just thinks it is a fun game to make her think he is going to. Also, for some reason, Jane has a frisbee magnet in her head. It seems like no matter what Max is aiming for with his frisbee, it ends up hitting Jane in the head 50% of the time. So now, of course, any time Max picks up the frisbee Jane runs from the room screaming and crying. And I can't blame her.

-  The other night, after I put Jane's jammies on, she opened the back door and sat down. She started telling me about the moon and I sat down next to her to look at the sky. It was cloudy and there wasn't much to see except for a few stars in the corners of the sky. Jane pointed to one and said, "She's brushing her hair." It took me a second to understand what she was saying. "The star is brushing her hair?" Jane nodded. "Is she getting ready for bed time?" I asked. "Yes," Jane replied.  I pointed to another star. "Is that one brushing her teeth?" "Yes," said Jane. Then she pointed to another star. "That one's putting on monkey jammies just like Jane's." Here she giggled and walked out to the yard, pointing at more stars and talking and giggling about how they were all wearing monkey jammies.

- I've been thinking lately about how my beliefs stack up with my actions. Especially as far as putting my money and time where my mouth is. It can be overwhelming to think of all the problems in the world and feel so helpless to solve anything. I've come to the conclusion that right now the best thing I can do is be a good mother and involved member of neighborhood and community. Many problems need to be noticed before they can be taken care of. I can donate some money, but not as much as I would like until Rb and I work our way out of some of the burden of this financial debt. I can help here and there, but I realized that I am just in a different season of my life. I can't take my kids on foreign volunteer excursions. I can't even take them to the soup kitchen. So for now, I will give, help where I can, be a good neighbor, friend and mother, and try to make wise purchases from local businesses and companies that are good stewards of their employees and the earth. I realize that the season for much giving and service is in the future. And by that time I will feel even more blessed than I already do. And I will have much more to give.

- We are potty training. Yesterday was great with only two accidents. Today we've had more misses than hits. But that is the nature of the beast. It will get better. And soon there won't be anymore babies in this house. No more paci's or diapers. Just in time to start thinking about having another little one, I guess.

-  I have found a new hobby. Writing. I sent off a very promising revision to Highlight's. I haven't heard back yet, but it hasn't been that long. Now I am working on another article about Kiwi's and conservation dogs. It has been very interesting so far, but it will be more difficult to write than the last one as there is less of a story line to the information. I love it though. I love the connection and information from people all over the world, deeply passionate about what they do.  I have been enjoying my writing. Who knows how much success will come from it, but it is a talent I want t develop. So that means practice. I was wondering the other day about if it was the best use of my time. I usually only write outside Max's bedroom while I wait for him to fall asleep. It doesn't take away from my kids, although sometimes it takes my thoughts far away in daydreams. But a few weeks ago I got a blessing from a leader in our church. He barely knows me. We just moved here. But he mentioned at least three times balancing my time so that I was able to pursue my interests. S I took that as a "keep going" message.

- Jane's IEP meeting was on Monday. She still qualifies as delayed in some areas, but in other areas she is ahead of the curve. Like in her knowledge of letters, colors, and shapes. It was so nice hearing those positives along with the things to work on.

Well, that's all for now. I'm off to make "star cookies" with the kids.

First Day of Fall

It's the first day of Fall!

Today we are going to go on a nature walk and see if we can see the oncoming change in season. It is still pretty warm here, so I don't know how that will go.  We will also be picking out a few trinkets from our walk to bring home and display on our nature table (it's the top of the piano).

I also hope to make leaf shaped sugar cookies. We might even top it off with apple cider!

I'm going to try and keep you updated on our nature table display every time we add something. I'm just getting started with this sort of thing.

Do you have any plans to celebrate the first day of Fall?  If not, here are a few.

Crochet a warm hat for those fall walks.
Go on a nature walk.
Make pinecone bird feeders. The time to feed the birds is coming soon!
Go buy a few pumpkins to set around your house.
Make pumpkin something (cookies, muffins, bread, etc.)
Drink apple cider and tell stories.
Make a list of all the fall things you want to do this year.
Make a Fall color collage with red, brown, yellow, and orange construction paper pieces glued to another piece of paper.
Buy a sweater!


Add your idea to the list!

Getting the Most Out of Your Library

We love the library at this house. We, of course, love all the fun picture books, the alphabet books, the number books. But it wasn't until recently that I realized there were so many different kinds of picture books that would help supplement my children's education.  I'm going to let you in on some of the neat books you can get at the library. I try to get at least of few of these kind of books to introduce new things to my children each week.

Biographical Picture Books - Our children's section has an entire section of children's biographical picture books. Most are a little long for my kids, but in a few years they will be perfect for introducing characters and events from history. I try to get something off this shelf every week. Here are some good ones that we have enjoyed recently.


Non-fiction books about animals - For my kids age, we check out the easy-reading ones with just a few, informative sentences on each page. Just think if you read one of these books every week, how much your children would learn!

Illustrated Classic Poetry - These books are classic poems by the great poets with beautiful illustrations. They are a great way to introduce your kids to some of the great works. This week we are reading Jabberwocky by Lewis Carroll. My kids love it, and the nonsense words make perfect sense to them when Mommy reads it just right.
   

Books that explore other cultures - These come in non-fiction and fiction. It is a great way to shine a light on our differences and similarities. Here are a few to get you started that we love.

   


Science Books - These can range from Biology to Chemistry to Physics to Ecology. They can range from explaining scientific concepts, giving experiment ideas, to exploring the purposes of bubbles.  These books are not the boring encyclopedias that we usually  associate with this genre. Check out these titles!

  



There is a book on just about anything you can think of. If you are looking for it, ask your children's librarian for help. They are your number one resource. I have known so many librarians who, when I ask for books about apples, or eyes, or cows, or whatever, say "just a minute" and then come back five minutes later loaded to the gills with books featuring whatever it was I asked for. Usually far more than came up when I simply searched the term in the library database.

What kinds of books do you make an effort to check out on a regular basis?

Apple Sauce Nights

A leader in my church once said that if he could do it all over, he would plan more family work projects. He says looking back on his time with his family, those were the things they remember most, especially when the fruits of their labors are still visible.

Family work projects with young children can be difficult, but I assure you they are worth the extra effort. I have been canning the last week. Peaches, strawberries, apples. One night, I decided to let the kids help me make apple sauce. I remembered the one time my mom had made apple sauce, cranking the strainer and watching the sauce come out while the skins and cores came out a different hole. It was fascinating.

So I cooked up the apples. Daddy sliced the apples. Miss J helped stir the apples in the stock pot. Then we set up the strainer. Miss J smashed and Little Man helped crank. I finished with the pouring and sealing, and boiling.

I didn't realize what a hit the activity had been until the next morning. Both kids kept talking about making apple sauce, about smashing and turning the handle. They asked to do it again. And so we did! It didn't feel like work at all. Could I have done it faster by myself? Probably. Would I ever trade that time for anything else? No.

I'm out of apples now, but it is only the beginning of fall. I foresee many more days of apple sauce making.


What other family projects can you do with young children? Well, just about anything if you aren't afraid of a mess and taking more time.

Check out my friend Bobi's blog to see her family remodeling their home.

If you want a list, here are some ideas.

Make your own Christmas Ornaments
Put up the tent and take it down together.
Plant a garden, weed a garden, water a garden, harvest a garden!
Build a birdhouse.
Pick all the dandelions out of your yard. (seriously, my kids loved this one)
Cook together.

Do you have any ideas for family projects?

Family Service

I love the idea of serving and volunteering as a family. However, with very young children it can sometimes feel like more of a challenge than it is worth. They can't go with you to the soup kitchen, or help at the food pantry until they are older. The AIDS clinic probably isn't the best place for them to be either, if they are even allowed. I've found that most of these places have an age limit, which makes sense. Taking my toddlers to the soup kitchen wouldn't help out the soup kitchen.

So what can we do to foster compassion and a spirit of service? I've been brainstorming ideas and these are a few that we are going to try.

Choose a holiday to give donations as gifts. Perhaps at Christmas your family will always donate a lamb through World Vision to commemorate the birth of The Lamb.  Perhaps, at Valentines Day you can donate a monetary gift to a charity of your choice.  World Vision lets you choose specific gifts.  Maybe on Mother's Day you can give a loan through Kiva.org to a mother in another country to help her business.  There are lots of ideas and opportunities for this at your fingertips. Involve your children in choosing the gift.

There are of course the normal holiday things too. Adopt a child from the tree of sharing. Help deliver turkeys at Thanksgiving. Provide a Thanksgiving meal to a family in need.

But what about a monthly service project? This is something I have been wanting to incorporate for a while now. I would like to dedicate one family home evening a month to service. Here are some of the ideas I came up with.
Tie a blanket to donate to your local homeless or women's shelter.
Organize a food/blanket/hygiene supplies drive for your local shelter or food pantry.  You can hang up flyers in your neighborhood, put notes on cars and doors of the date and then pick up the donations for your activity.
Assemble kits for your local shelter. Perhaps a welcome kit for mothers and children who have just fled an abusive home. A hygiene supplies kit. Birthday goodie bags for children in the shelter on their birthday. These don't have to be terribly expensive. You could even get a group of your girlfriends or family friends together and have everyone bring $5-$10 of supplies, and then assemble the kits together.
Teach young children how to crochet or use a knitting loom to make caps for the cold winter months.
I know a family who put together paper bags filled with food to hand out to the homeless people they saw around town. They kept the bags in the car to hand out whenever the opportunity arose.
Adopt a grandparent at the convalescent center and visit monthly.
Go sing songs around the convalescent center and visit with the residents.

Every little bit counts. Don't feel like you have to start off with a two week trip to build a school in Mexico. Although, when your children are older that might be awesome. I would recommend trying to make your monthly service projects local. I think sometimes we forget or dismiss the needs in our own community.

What are some of your ideas or things you have done as a family?

You Have Permission to Step Off the Anger Treadmill

I debated in high school. The experience has given me the ability to see both sides of an issue. A lot of times it feels like more of a curse than a blessing. But in the past few years I have noticed a trend. Anger. There is always something to be mad about. Last week it was Chik-fil-A. The week before that it was the US Olympic uniforms being made in China. A little before that it was Obamacare. Before that it was.....you fill in the blank. There's always going to be something that we don't agree with. Sometimes we are upset as a nation, sometimes our outrage splits down party lines. And for some reason we have come to the conclusion that the best response is anger.

I am now giving you permission to step off that treadmill. Next week there will be something else to get your panties in a bunch about. Heck, every commercial break during the Olympics is filled with negative political ads. There's nothing I love more when trying to cheer on my country in solidarity than to feel divided during the commercials. 

Hate and anger seem to be this two-way street that everyone walks down while loudly complaining that other people are on the road with them.

Technology is great, but it has left us quite desensitized in my opinion. Because of this, it seems that political leaders and media personnel (from all areas, TV, blogs, print) feel the need to often resort to stirring their followers up into a frenzy just to make them care about an issue. It's like, if we aren't foaming at the mouth, we won't call that congressman, boycott that restaraunt, go to that town hall meeting, etc. 

The other downfall of technology is that it gives people the opportunity to easily bash those they disagree with, with much more hate and vitriol than they probably would in person. I'm amazed at the number of people who feel inclined to respond to the little facebook notifications that my church puts out just asking people to talk about what their parents taught them or what brings them peace, with mocking and anger. What kind of person subscribes to a feed of an organization that they don't agree with? It's like we want to be angry. It's like we thrive on it and enjoy the thrill of that moment when we ball our fists and grind our teeth.

The problem is anger is exhausting.

I once saw a bumper sticker that said "If you aren't upset, you aren't paying attention." And maybe that's true. I used to be on the anger treadmill. Always upset about something. There's so much injustice, heartache, sadness, hate and evil in the world. It is too much for one person to really take in all the time. It isn't healthy. It affects our well-being and it affects my mothering when I am always angry, or upset, or feel slandered by an angry comment from someone who doesn't even know me but disagrees with something I believe.

It's okay to stay up with politics. It's good! But you don't have to respond with anger. Simply take a deep breath, remind yourself that politicians are human and as humans we all come from different backgrounds and will disagree and THAT' OKAY! Then DO SOMETHING. Calmly call your representative, or attend that town hall, donate to that cause, change a habit, swear off that restaraunt, or proudly go to that restaurant. Whatever it is, do it, and leave it at that. Don't get in comment fights on the internet. For your sanity, I suggest never reading the comments anyways.

Sometimes, it seems there is nothing we can do to change or help the situation that leaves us angry and upset.  Or, what little we've done doesn't seem to be enough. I think those are the times when we feel the need to fight with others about it, or get angry about it, in hopes that it will make us feel more powerful against the situation or like we are making a bigger difference. We aren't. You aren't. It's not worth it. 

You can't fix everything. But you can do your best to improve your corner of the world. And I mean the physical world, not your corner of the virtual world. Love your neighbor, visit the sickly woman down the street, give to the homeless shelter. Is it helping the world find Kony? No. But is it making a difference? Yes. A lot more than getting mad about what a terrible person whoever is this week's person-to-hate and stewing about it all night.

Show your children that happiness and change come through action, kindness, and love. Hate and anger only rip us apart and keep us up at night.