How to Be Creative

Growing up, the last thing I would have called myself was "creative." Don't get me wrong, I've always loved to "create." Food, music, sewing, crocheting. But always with a pattern and instructions. I'm very good at instructions and following them and having a nice finished project at the end. But making something totally out of my own mind? No instructions, no pictures of what it should look like at the end? Yeah, I didn't do that.

Art? You've got to be kidding me. I wasn't artistic.
Writing? No way. I can't spend thousands of words telling a story. I was a get right to the point sort of girl.

But three years ago, words started running through my head and wouldn't go away until I wrote them down. It could have stopped there. But I decided to keep writing and just see where it would take me. I was terrible at first. And my ideas were cliche and overdone and melodramatic.

But something in my brain opened up, a new side to myself that I'd never explored before. It was this idea of doing something just for the love of it, not so you can have a certain, perfect finished product at the end. After all, the one thing I've learned from writing is that art is never really finished, it's just finally let go.

Over the last few years I've opened myself up to other artistic and creative experiences. I write little poems and songs for my kids, tell them stories I make up off the top of my head. I've started creating art with chalk, pencils, and watercolor paints. They're not great. But it's fun, and I'm realizing that's all that matters.

We all know the quote from Picasso, that Every child is born an artist. And yet we're still stuck in this mode and idea that some people are artists and some people are not artists. We still have undying faith in the power of "talent."

But I'm here to tell you different. YOU are creative. YOU are an artist. I firmly believe that everyone on the planet has an inborn desire to create. And I can tell you from your own experience that allowing your brain to open up to the experience of being truly creative is a wonderful experience. To have a vision and then to strive to put it to paper, or paint, or chalk, or yarn, or food, or music, or whatever! It's time to go there. It's time to try.

Many art books will tell you that you can tell the moment in a person's life when they gave up drawing because they realized they weren't good at it. Your current sketches are a testament to when you allowed the comparison of others to inhibit your own creativity.

But we don't create to compare ourselves with others. Creating with only the motivation of being better than others, or making money, or getting praise, will be an empty experience. Don't get me wrong. You better believe I'm trying to get my book published. But the experience of creating a story and characters is such a thrilling and fulfilling experience for me, that publication is not my only reason for pursuing writing.

I have tried to draw more. I will never sell art for money. I will never be considered great, but in just a few weeks of picking it back up, I have improved. And I feel proud of myself. But more than that, it's calming and forces me to slow down, observe, notice, and feel.

And I think that is the real power of creativity. It forces you to slow down and pull out of all the things weighing you down for just a moment and have a vision.

So how can you be more creative? It's simple.

You have to create more.

You have to step out of your comfort zone and actually try it. And when your first effort is terrible, you're going to laugh and try again and again and again. Because you're not doing this to be "good" at something. You're doing it to feel more alive. To feed that inner need within yourself. To change the way you see yourself and the world. To open up parts of your heart and your brain that you never knew existed.

Stop only doing the things you're good at. Pick up something you're not good at and just do it because you love it. Did a teacher tell you to give something up? Did someone make fun of past efforts. Tell them to shove it and try again. Do it because you're human and you're driven to create.

Stop limiting yourself to thinking that creativity is just one kind of thing. What about music? Cooking? Landscaping? Decorating? Teaching? Woodworking? Storytelling? Poetry? Games? Business Plans?

Stop being too busy. Just stop. Creativity requires time, and some good deep breaths, and a little space in your day.

Make the time. This is most important. You won't be creative if you don't make time to be creative. I'll say it again, the only way to be more creative is to sit your butt in the chair and be creative. Set aside a time of day when you will create. Hold this space for yourself. Diligently. Some days you will drag your feet. You may feel too busy. Don't cheat yourself.

Don't expect constant inspiration or joy. Some days will be frustrating. Somedays you won't be able to get anything right. Nothing will live up to your vision. You'll want to tear it up and forget about it. It will feel clunky and unnatural and unauthentic. Keep going. Come back to it tomorrow. This is not a race. There is no finish line. This is YOUR life.

Take some lessons. Learn! You can't get better without a combination of practice an instruction. Read up. Get on the internet for tips and tricks. There's so much out there to help you get started. Go find it!

Create. Create some more. And then do it again.

No tears in the writer...

There is a quote from Robert Frost that says "No tears in the writer, no tears in the reader." While I have read from other writers about the agony of putting one of your beloved characters into hard situations, I had never experienced feeling that pain for an imaginary person until I wrote "Cradle and All."

This short story is being released today as part of the anthology "Summer Burn" from Elephant's Bookshelf Press. You can buy it here!

When I read the call for submissions, stories about love that didn't last, I didn't initially have a story idea. However, throughout the next day or two, one slowly came into my mind. It wasn't a fleeting thought, it was a nagging, obsessive barrage of thoughts. All of a sudden I had this character who was talking to me and I could feel what she was feeling and I could see her going about her day and I knew her story.

It might sound strange to say, "I knew her story." Because, obviously I knew her story. I wrote it. But when a character becomes real to you as a writer, sometimes you discover their story along with them as you go along for the journey, get to know them better and understand how they will act and react. And yet at the same time, I knew what I was going to do to this character. I knew the pain and the hell I was going to put her through.

I sat down and typed. 1000 words every night and finished the story within five days. Without any rereading, I sent the story off to my critique group, expecting to have lots to fix. Instead I got comments back that said, 

"Wow! This is haunting. I don't know if I'll be able to sleep tonight."

"This brings back a lot of painful memories for me."

"Your ending is heartbreaking and yet inevitable at the same time."

I was floored by their reactions and so I went back and read it and found myself crying along with my character. Not necessarily because I am such an amazing, powerful writer (Because I'm not. I'm still learning the ropes of this thing). But because I knew this character, I'd created her, and I could feel everything she was feeling.

I wanted a more thorough critique though, so I sent it off to a critique partner who I knew would be harder on it. She too loved it, but offered very thought provoking questions that I had to ponder for a few days while I got to know my characters and their history. I know it sounds crazy, but that's exactly what it was. Getting to know my characters, even the antagonist.

So pretty much, writers live in an imaginary world, where they hear voices drawn out in complete conversation with other voices and they "get to know" characters that don't really exist and that they can basically control. 

I, of course, would love everyone to read this story. But before you do, I want to make a few important clarifications. First, this story is about domestic abuse. It is not based on anything that I have experienced personally, especially not at the hands of my own, tender husband. Writing this was purely an exercise in imaginative empathy.

Second. because of the nature of this story, it is rough around the edges. There is some swearing. Nothing awful, but it's just pretty much impossible to make an abuser come off as genuine when he's saying "heck" and "darn". I do not apologize for the language, I just thought some of my friends might want to know.

Of all my acceptances so far, this story is the one closest to my heart. I truly felt inspired to write it. It is hard to put something like that out there for the world. What if no one likes it? What if my friends judge me by it? Oh well, I guess. That's part of being a writer. Putting your heart on the line. I hope you'll read it and I hope you enjoy it.

Avoiding Mommy-Mushy Brain - Part 3

What are you reading?  For some of us the better question is, are you reading?  Books are a great way to enjoy learning.  We all know this.  That's why we read to our kids.  But we need to read, ourselves.  We also need to make sure that we aren't just reading junk romance or other escapist fiction.  I understand that picking up some light reading every now and then is really enjoyable.  But make sure that you are also reading books that make you think, stay with you, present another point of view, or teach you something. 

Try to intersperse non-fiction in your reading.  For some really interesting non-fiction reads, I suggest the following "starter" list.

"A Short History of Nearly Everything" by Bill Bryson

anything written by Malcolm Gladwell
"Unbroken" by Laura Hillenbrand

Historical Fiction can also be a great way to learn about history and enjoy a good story at the same time.  I don't have a starter list for you, just search historical fiction on amazon and you will find plenty.

I am also a big fan of good fantasy and science fiction, which can present interesting moral dilemmas and insights.  I personally love Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter, Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Ender's Game and many more.

Then there are the classics.  You can find all sorts of lists on the Internet of things everyone should read.  But for a really thorough, well-rounded foundation for your mind, I think the list from Thomas Jefferson Education is a great place to start from.  They have a list for adults, youth, and children.

Remember, don't be afraid to look in your library's juvenile section for good literature.  Anything worth reading when you're 10 should be worth reading when you're 50.

Avoiding Mommy-Mushy Brain - Part 2

With the internet these days there is no reason not to continue your education.  Many universities offer online degree programs, but even if you are not working towards a degree, online classes are a great way to learn more about seemingly any subject.  (I even found that I could get my masters in chemistry all online!)

Brigham Yound University has a huge selection of online courses.  Available for a fee of course.  You can find the course listing here.

They also have some free courses to.  The courses range from religious to family life to finance, music, gardening.  Find the full list here.

BYU isn't the only university to offer this, so if you don't find what you're looking for, search around on the internet.  There are so many resources, there really is no excuse anymore!

Avoiding Mommy-Mushy Brain - Part 1

Let's face it.  A lot of what we do as mother's seems to be a never-ending cycle of laundry, dishes, changing diapers, cooking, and telling your toddler for the five billionth time that the toilet is not a toy!  Because of this, being a homemaker has earned a reputation for being excruciatingly mind numbing,  It doesn't have to be that way though.  Just think how much more freedom you have to pursue any areas of knowledge you wish.  It may take some effort, but I can tell you it is well worth it.

You may or may not have finished college, gone on for advanced degrees or had a successful career, but there is always something to learn, you just can't lose your curiosity.  You can read lots about parenting and other things that pertain to your career as a homemaker, but you are not bound to that!  Learn, explore, try something new.  I am going to write a few posts about how to not only combat Mommy-mushy brain, but really nurture and grow that mind of yours!

My first idea for you is to memorize poetry, important speeches, or famous quotes.  I like the idea of memorizing rather than just writing them down in a folder because then those words are right there in your brain for you to mull over and contemplate at any time.

In honor of Valentine's Day I chose Seamus Heany's poem "Scaffolding".  I bought some window crayons and wrote the poem on the window in my kitchen.  Every time I was cooking or cleaning in there, I would glance at the window and read this beautiful poem.  I had it memorized within a week. 

You can do this too!  Choose a poem or famous speech or whatever you wish to memorize and write it somewhere where you will see it often.  Read it as often as possible and soon you will have it down.  Just think of all the beautiful things you can have stored in your mind to pull out when you need encouragement or beauty.  The beauty can be inside you!