It was just one of those days.
You know the kind.
You wake up, feeling good. Today is going to be a good day. Then the baby wakes up. Earlier than normal, but that's ok. You figure he will play while you finish getting ready. And then the screaming starts.
You delay it for a bit with some trains, but it comes back up the stairs. The screaming.
Halfway through breakfast. More Screaming.
Then he gets his sister to start Screaming while they're playing.
Thank goodness for The Wiggles. However now you have than nagging guilt that your kids are watching too much TV and you have to weigh the options of having your children's brains rot for an hour or have The Screaming come back. Today, brains rotting is by far the better choice.
It is now officially 9:00 am. Congratulations. It's going to be one heck of a day.
You get home from swim lessons and as soon as you walk in the door; It begins again. The SCREAMING. Up until this point you had done ok. But now your teeth are grinding together and you are closing cupboard doors rather forcefully to keep from yelling. MORE. WIGGLES. NOW.
Finally naptime. Then the park. Beautiful, wonderful children. How could I ever have lost my temper with you?
Except for then you come home and both children decide to make up for lost time, and the dog's in on it now too. Before dinner, through dinner, after dinner. Your life has devolved into
Until finally, you actually do lose it. And you SCREAM back.
Then the guilt sets in. And it doesn't matter that you played with your kids for an hour that morning, or that they played outside for another hour that afternoon. It doesn't matter that you made three good meals that day and cleaned up afterwards. It doesn't matter that you read stories and played kissy monster.
Because you lost your temper, and either your children are the spawn of the devil or you are the worst mother in the world. And as you look at how beautiful they are sleeping you know it can't be the first option.
So breathe. Take a walk. Read a book. Draw up a bath.
Because you are not the worst mother in the world. We have all been there. We will all be there again.
Tomorrow is another day.
"You may have a fresh start any moment you choose, for this thing we call 'failure' is not the falling down, but the staying down."